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A beautiful lotus growing in our pool
Currently more of a pond…
Jungle Journal

Sprung

  • April 26, 2018
  • by Beave

It is without any doubt that spring has indeed sprung. It’s everywhere. And what a movement that was…

Within but a few days the Primavera (springtime) trees around us have exploded with sudden bright golden blossom. That scrawny old tree that had hidden behind everything else has burst front stage in a flamboyant flush of yellow. This display lasts for only a week or so. The Bougainvillea are alive and throwing colours everywhere. It’s an event .

  

It’s dry too. The ground is transforming into fine layers of dust. The pathways release clouds of the stuff which can be blinding when the sun reflects on it. Large thick roots are revealed as the earth evaporates around them. The rains are coming and we are now experiencing the grip of mild anxiety as we imagine all the landscape flushed of content and guess what might remain.

The humidity is also upon us. It’s been a quick transition between feeling the heat on the afternoon and the heat feeling you. Gets into every crevice. By 4 pm there is little option but surrender. If I’m outside I become a damp pink bloke with melting senses. Best to give up anything mentally or physically taxing. Which leaves little else to do but stay still and indulge in early day gins and naps. The fan has had  it’s first good go of the year. Moving air is altogether more acceptable than the still warm heavy damp kind.

 

The sun has changed altitude and the mornings and evening have extended themselves later and later. There are days when the sun and squawking of mating parrots are ignored enough to sleep late. The sunsets complete their act around 8.30 pm so nights out are no longer ending at 9 pm. The town has emptied of most of the tourists. A steady but slow stream of beach seeking gringos still remain. The snowbirds (those who spend 6 month in Mexico/ 6 months in Pacific NW) are leaving for their long journeys home. Seattle and Vancouver are filling up again for Summer. We share a few last sunsets before they leave. The humidity moves in behind them.

 

Our mates from SF have bought a place in Los De Marcos 20 minutes away. We go with them to see it and end up at a jazz gig with newest friends. We agree to help mange the place and transform the garden and build a roof Palapa. That should keep us busier. We celebrate with dinner under the stars at our place. We engage in a late night Tequila fuelled scorpion hunt. We have a hand held UV dark light and we prove very quickly that when it hits a scorpion it glows like a light bulb. Have tried this before in Israel and South Africa but the Mexican scorpions are the brightest I’ve seen by far.

 

This did not help one of our guests. She had returned to stay with us for the second time because she loves it out here. Until that is, at 6 am, when she called us to an emergency. She had been hit twice on the foot by a scorpion that we find in her bed. We fly to hospital and wait there as she is observed for allergic reaction and bagged and given an anti-venom shot. It was her first time in hospital and a bit of a drama but we were soon out having breakfast of raspberries stolen from our white witch friend who happened to be passing by. Scorpions rarely are dangerous but they do give you a “poison trip” for a day or two that can be unpleasant. After she got over it all she went straight to town and had the astrological sign for Scorpio tattooed on her scorpion bite !

There are a very few things that I have avoided since being here but Micheladas is top of my list. I’m not universally known as a shy one and am all about trying new things but the very thought of a virgin Bloody Mary with beer in the same glass just seems instinctively wrong.

Our favorite sunset bar is closing down. Their lease is up and the owners are probably looking to sell their uniquely stunning spot for a hotel or something equally crude. Our Argentinian bar staff/friends who we have seen many times every week since we arrived are moving on. This is a sad turn of affairs and must be marked with a house Michelada. I’ve seen huge glasses of the red-stuff with salads of celery and cilantro spilling from their chili crusted rims pass my head very often. At no time has this tempted me in the slightest. However, in honour of Bar La Fresona and our brief love affair I order one. It arrives showy, resplendent and larger than necessary. The salt and chili flavours are soon overcome with an icy cool flood of tomato and the aftertaste of beer. It’s not entirely revolting. Over the next 20 minutes of sipping and battling a chili flaked celery in the eye three separate friends come over in high excitement to find out why I looked like I had been kicked in the face by a mule. No matter how much care and attention I took to get this this in me without drama it was not to be. For some reason I’m covered in bright red chili salt from hairline to chin. I am in bad need of a shower and a shave. Not my finest hour and I’m in no hurry to repeat it. Farewell la Fresona, going to miss you. Micheladas… not so much.

         

The season in terms of visitors has changed equally suddenly. We have had full occupancy these last few weeks and spent our days cleaning sheets and floors and greeting folk. I have done the tour of the land many many times. Same questions and similar answers every time. I have discussed this with bar and social hosts many times. How do you deal with being asked the same questions over and over again ? It’s not quite automatic for me but I can feel it getting a bit like that. Our story told in 20 minutes changes and evolves in the many tellings and as time passes. I have to keep an eye on keeping it authentic.

Right now we have no one on the land but us. It’s good. We have the odd enquiry and the very odd booking now and again. We have had a Welshman in a hammock for a few days and a couple of great friends bearing gifts of a new well pump, sheets, towels, car parts, jubilee clips, sewing machine oil and cheese. (Oh how I miss the joy of real proper, bites your tongue and makes you sweat cheese.)

The extra time we have now is a welcome distraction. We have had the space to start the process of planting. Much shifting of earth is required. We move pick up loads of real black earth from a river bed 1 km away to our piles of palms left over from the building. Earth on top and the placement of large river rocks and we have our “hugelkultur herb spiral”. It’s planted with all the seeds. Many herbs, chilies and marigold we smuggled in. Our well is still wet & the new well pump works okay after a repair or two so we may even have enough water for the plants and us.

 

A day is spent collecting good growing dirt. I remove 4 years of anthill & bat poo that has filled our pool pump house with a carpet of it a few feet thick. Back breaking but we now have sacks of the stuff. We mix this with rotting palm wood and a full load from the river bed. We ninja raid a local stable and make off with a bag of horse shit. This all meets in a single pile under the shade of the solar panels. We are assisted by our hermit neighbor from even further up the hill. He has propagated Bougainvillea for many years. He told us that he spent months growing them locally and then cows ate them all in one day. So we collect the cuttings from a local snowbird on her way home to BC. We create the perfect grow bags from mixing all our offerings together. Good dirt and ant and bat and horse and palm. We dip the snipped ends into white power growth hormone and then each is planted, released and watered. Left to fend for themselves and get big and strong. We now have more than 100 future Bougainvillea of all colours under our solar panels protected from cows. They will one day make the most beautiful and dangerously thorny borders for the fence lines.

It occurs to us that we don’t currently have a single Irishman on our land… it’s been some time.

Our Polaris front tires blew out again for the umpteenth time and the fourth time in a week. It’s now our No.1 expense. We have a crap bald second hand tire on one side but that is so much better than the teabag that is the other. Can’t keep air in it no matter what we do. Even inner tube blew out. So we are saving our pennies to buy new tires and for now Pauly Razor is on chocks. Thank the stars we have a friend here who has been fiddling (in a good way) with Limonada Toyota for the past week. Brakes work and accelerator pedal is reattached and wheel bearing renewed.

Armadillos are noisy buggers. Must be mating season coz they are everywhere at the moment. Didn’t see one for months then all the big ones turn up digging loudly and proudly around the tree house at 2 am. Even spotted one in front of our balcony in daylight. Maybe walk of shame from night before.

We are well on our way to putting our house on the market in Darlington. When that goes through we will be funded for our next phase of creating. Until then it’s the farmer’s diet of tacos and tequila for us. We are living simply and saving costs and keeping busy. There are still small opportunities to make a few quid (pesos) here now and then and we are keeping ourselves up for it.

An unexpected opportunity has somehow appeared on our horizon. We meet new friends in town. They have been retired here for many years and split their time between an amazing house here and an equally stunning property near Seattle. They generously gift us herbs, flower cuttings, curtains and tequila. They and their visiting daughter end up at our place and we produce a makeshift feed at the open outside kitchen in the jungle. We use the oven to roast chicken and we overcook (burn) spuds & vegetables in the fire. Despite this they have waxed lyrical to their friends about us and now we have been invited to invite “them all” out here to a dinner. We have the great and good of San Pancho at our place for dinner in a few days!! They want to pay us for the privilege and take photos for the local news-rag to promote us. This could become a thing.

Jungle Journal

Grand Slam …

  • April 2, 2018April 2, 2018
  • by Beave

It’s a huge source of satisfaction that I am accompanied along the way by my friends and my son. The scrutiny of strangers is a fascinating process but the eyes of close friends can cause some performance anxiety. Seems we are passing the approval tests. Many more ahead mind…

Our full to burst compliment of folk are all enthusiastic to contribute & work but also have fun in their minds. Plans are afoot. There is much talk of whales who are passing by our shore daily at this time of year. There is the need to catch fish. Fish to take home and cook on an open fire all macho like. There is the need to explore the Pacific more. Coral is requested. We book us all on a day trip where a boat will take us to see whales , catch fish and drop us on an Island to snorkel over the coral.  Success.

There is much excited whale spotting with some of these huge beasts getting very close. We catch a small tuna type fish (Ceviched later ) and tested out our ability to walk into the ocean in flippers without falling over and hold our breath long enough to follow the fish through the coral.  Much sun , sea and sand and some sea sickness (or hidden hangovers) by the end of the day. It was a fairly dry event as the night before accidentally turned naughty. No one could face much beer after that.

There is a push now to get our bar built and the outdoor tables ready. We have invited many friends from the local community who have helped us out or just curious to visit us for a “soft opening” of La Colina Project on Tuesday this week. There is a lot of work to be done before then but there is great motivation and enthusiasm from everyone  to make this a memorable event. I have all the faith it will be. Not entirely sure why yet.  I’m not worried.

   

   

The leaps and limps to action are impressive. There is enough of us to make it fun and photographed. Monday night we apply the last coat of varnish to the tables bare foot in the dark with headlamps. My feet get a coating of marine varnish that lasts for many days. The other results are magical. We have a bar. A real one. The display of stunningly polished parota in the form of huge tables and a the bar top give a touch of class. Even the cow heads have lights in their eyes. A very cool addition. I am tasked with cleaning out a large cooler chest borrowed from behind a local restaurant of all its indescribable muck and grot. There is much of it that a hose pipe efficiently covers me in. We fill it with ice and beer. We have a number of jugs of local tequila, mezcal and rum. The blender has power, the lights are lit. I smell of muck and grot and have mottled brown feet but I’m ready as I’m gonna be.

The coming together of so many new friends and old who have helped us out over the past months is emotional. My strange smell & dappled feet are forgiven and a pretty fantastic afternoon and night evolved. Lots of tours of the property and gifts of booze and good company. At some point my knees again surcome to the effects of Mezcal and I am removed. Probably for the best .

The morning after is brutal. My mezcal knees have recovered but I still have a musty grot odor. There is a full truck of recycling. A large heap of cans, glass, cardboard and half drunk bottles of tequila. Despite valiant attempts to make a significant dent our free bar ends up with more booze than we started with. Result. It is a relief to shower and collapse and consider a job well done.

It is a different world out here now for a number of reasons. Our never ending list of things to do “right now” has reduced somewhat. The list exists but now has endless things to do “sometime soon”. Priorities are shifting. Our first chunks of big money items like solar and construction are spent and so we are now at the point of nurturing and repairing our battered bank account in order to look at phase two. Plans are made to tackle the white house and the Scorpion temple at some point in the future and saving to get a roof on our house that can cope better with the rainy season. We are concentrating now on selling my house in Darlington. When that is done we will have the means to make the next investments. Until then it’s austerity for us while making what we have give us an income. So a diet of tacos and Tecate awaits while we undertake a charm offensive with all the local letting agents.

We also have a lot of power. The solar panels are catching photons at an extraordinary rate and our sexy nano-carbon batteries are storing them all like champions. The past weeks have seen lights appear everywhere and sockets have emerged. Our pool pump has been removed and loved and returned to service with it’s own power line. The pump that pulls the water uphill to the top tinacos has also been wired in. This saves me dragging generators in and out of trucks and up and down hills three times a day. My poor old back is saved !

With power comes much digging. We have trenched 100s of meters of conduit under the stony jungle ground. There is a phenomenon here where a small trench just a few inches deep and a few feet long can create a pile of stones bigger than me. It makes no sense at all. The result is we have created a large number of rockeries next to freshly hidden wires. These now line pathways and make for what turns out to be accidental landscaping. Looks rather good.

Our first wave of paying guests proves to be a surprisingly lovely lot. A proper mix of ages and nationalities. It was worries to me that we would have over entitled people arrive here expecting too much and testing my fabled patience. As it turns out people really love it here and are happy to pay us and are on the whole considerably less irritating than expected. There have been some moments of extreme idiocy. It appears there is a section of the population that are more of a challenge. There are a lot more youngish people than I ever expected who are unable (actually unable) to follow basic directions or signs let alone follow a map. They either use Google-Maps to tell them where they are or they haven’t got a clue….no other option exists to them .. Scary but true…. I have , however, been able to deal with this perfectly thanks to my endless patience, understanding and empathetic disposition.

Our reviews so far have been outstanding. We are doing something right. It’s Easter weeks which are famously the busiest of the year and so we would expect to have some interest over this time. We are currently booked out til April. The test will come after that. See how long we can extend the season for visitors out here. We are contemplating retreats here for birdwatchers, fire fly spotters and/or photographers all with compulsory Yoga and Mezcal tastings (maybe).

Bird watching. Who knew ? We are a touch spoilt to be on “The Road of the Squashes”. People travel from far and wide and Canada to pay a bunch of dollars to walk down the road to our house. There are over 200 species of bird here. Right here. My oldest mate from UK (very old) came over to help with my electrics and give his girlfriend a break. He accidentally got hooked into the bird watching as they were outside his window all the time. Before he left they made a list of 36 new species of bird he has seen since he got here two weeks ago. A 13 year old girl arrived the day after from an Island off Vancouver and takes this as a challenge. She makes a list of over 70 new species she had seen in two days!! There has to be a market for a bird watching retreat for those who appreciate tropical birds. We are working on it ……

Sanitation is a thing. Buckets of unspeakable stuff are required to be added to the compost heap very often. There are a lot of productive bodies here now and the buckets are filling up quick. The buckets need emptying and the contents covered in a pile of compost as soon as they get full. It is a familiar process now and it’s become my job. I get it done usually first thing in the morning. It’s not the best way to start the day but not necessarily the worst. One of my previous jobs that I accidentally agreed to when drinking a bit to much at the wrong time was to be in charge of sanitation at an arts festival in Spain. I had the task of looking after the contents of about 1500 people in extreme heat conditions.

In order to delegate as much as possible I created and recruited a whole team of Shit Ninjas. These extraordinary humans took it upon themselves to educate everyone in the process of healthy sanitation and deal with the aftermath. Could do with a few of them here to help me out. My experience as the aptly named Shit Head has hardened me to dealing with such issues. I’ve seen things I can’t unsee. We thankfully have the services here of experienced carers and nurses who are even more conditioned to the grotty end of things so I’m now not the only one on bucket duty.   So far it’s working out well and everyone’s experience of dry toilets is pretty positive. Saves a huge amount of water. The Parota sawdust smells the best.

My hair requires a shear I am reliably told. We have decided on a “no mirror on the wall” strategy and to adopt a rural-shabby-chique look and to only make suggestions on each others appearance when it’s clearly the right thing to do. This does remove any remaining vanity issues we may be harboring. Now is one of those moments. I have found that by wetting my hair and turning upside down and hacking off any misbehaving hairs that I can see in my shaving mirror it does change things a little. Not sure entirely positively… I catch my reflection in the rear view mirror of the truck. Not the worst haircut I ever had, however, I do know that my dear UK hair expert would be un-amused by such antics … she would not approve .

The arty gifts we are receiving here are just amazing and are fully appreciated. We have had deliveries of SD Cards packed with music of every sort. We have had unique art pieces made especially for us. Original paintings from guests, my wife pimped up & now as the bar figure head. There is even hand made mobile of paint pots on a saucepan lid shipped in from UK. It’s a great thing. We have a “leave no trace leave art “ philosophy and the time for art is upon us. It will be an exciting time as we see it evolve. A local mural artist work in the local Cervecaria (pub) . She has offered to paint a wall on the outside of the orange block. Should be a stunning addition.

 

My son Jake has a long held dream. He has always wanted to visit the town of Tequila and this is his chance. For the first time we agree to leave the land in the hands of others for the night and venture the 4 hours to explore the world of 100% agave. We pass many fields of blue agave of various ages. It takes 8 to 12 years before they can be harvested by a Jimador, roasted, juiced and then made into Tequila. We arrive and Jake is to say the very least excited. Haven’t seen him this excited since “X-box Christmas” 2002.

 

We start with a basic white tequila. You can taste the agave. Strong pepper after-taste. Delicious. Then we get into an old aged golden coloured version that tastes almost like an old rum. We then take the Jose Cuervo factory tasting tour.

My dear son is in his element. The tour climax is a sit down tasting of 4 of their best. “Always start with the best as by the time you finish your taste buds will be in shock” we are told. The group has about 20 people and we are surprised to see that more than half of them leave the tasting after just a sip or two. This leaves a few dozen untouched full glasses of premium tequila. Well it seemed rude to leave them there ….. the remains of the day from this point are hazy. We are fully conversant in the production of tequila and have developed a great appreciation of this magic stuff.

In the interests of further education there was considerably more sampling . “On average we are told that 4 glasses of average tequila will put the average person to sleep in an hour.” We, however, avoided sleep for some time and managed to raise the averages somewhat before eventually calling it and try to find the hotel. We woke early and limped to the van for the long, quiet and reflective drive back.

March 17th started early watching Ireland beat England at Twickenham to Grand Slam the 6 nations Rugby on Saint Patrick’s Day. There are two proper Irish folk left here to gloat. That is some start to the day for them. The pubs in Dublin must be pure madness and no further excuses are needed here for a touch of daytime celebrating. Despite being wounded by Tequila they all make a good effort to keep their reputation alive.

   

This past month has passed quickly. My son and most of his mates have bounced back to Dublin. He went through New York post-Paddy’s Day which was an entirely different adventure. Pictures of him with Guinness smugly in hand prove he got home somehow.  I miss the bugger already.  My daughter is next.  One day soon the stars will align and she will be here.

It’s my Birthday. San Pancho is the home to, amongst others, Gilles Ste-Croix who is the co-founder of Cirque du Soleil. His gift to the community here is to offer his considerable resources to train local children in circus skills. He has founded and supports Circo de los Niños http://circodelosninosdesanpancho.mx/   They have a show once a year. It’s tonight and we have tickets. I arrive carrying the considerable load of my first decent steak in 6 months and far too much of freshly made birthday cake and a steeping in Mezcal. I am in a packed venue to watch what Cirque du Soleil can do with 150 Mexican school kids. It’s truly astonishing.

I am stunned enough to require a reasonable number of pints in the Cerveceria before giving in to my age and heading back to the jungle. Those kids were inspirational.

My son’s girlfriend is going home and she needs a photograph of her surfing to show him to wind him up. Reasonable request even though she has never surfed before. We load the van and head to La Lancha beach where the surf is reliable. We take Jayne’s inflatable paddle board and all my surfboards and prepare for the photoshoot. With very little instruction she catches her second ever wave all the way to the beach. By some miracle we have it captured on a phone camera and her visit here is complete . She leaves for Dublin very happy with the photo to prove it all happened.

The day has started well. The guests are moving out. All of them. All on time and apparently delighted… Which is a good.

Another few buckets of the real stuff to compost. The well pump appears to be bust and we just ran out of propane for tea making/ hot water, we don’t have enough Queen size sheets, need to sand and varnish the new Parota tables in the outside kitchen, need to find 3 more pallets for the third composting area next to our house, we also need to work out how to mend or replace the tree house roof before the rains…. Here we go again.  Today is exactly 6 months since we landed here. We are already very busy making a plan for the next 6 months.

There may not be a bunny or chocolate egg within 100 miles but Happy Easter.

Jungle Journal

Six Months in the Jungle

  • March 25, 2018March 27, 2018
  • by Jayne

Living in a treehouse, clearing and cleaning jungle out of living spaces, the swimming pool and everywhere else, close calls with trees and bees, gaining a Maustrappe and losing weight… A lot has happened in just six months.

Maustrappe the jungle cat.

It’s been just over six months since Beave and I applied to become Mexican residents and moved to Mexico. It’s been just under six months since we took possession of “La Colina”, and started living in 3.5 hectares (8 acres) of jungle just outside San Pancho, Nayarit.

We’ve laughed, we’ve cried, and we’ve worked very, very hard.

Jayne and Beave being the gate to La Colina in Sept 2017
Welcome to La Colina – March 2018
Cleaning out the sky casita in November 2017
Inside the Sky Casita now

 

The bodega and sky casita in Sept 2017
So much jungle!
All cleaned up!
Washroom before the renovations
…and after

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Checking out the well when we first arrived
Now pumping water!
The pool when we first found it
That’s better!

 

Back when it was just a Brick Sh*t House

Now a three bedroom open air glamping jungle retreat

And we made it into this
Viewing deck for stars and birds
Outdoor kitchen
One of our glamping cabañas
Quiet and peaceful

 

Our intention of building a place using sustainable methods and materials, permaculture principles, full of art, which will be self-funded by hosting guests and creating value on the land is becoming a reality much quicker than I had thought possible. Back in the summer, as we packed up our lives in England and prepared for the unknown, I’m not sure where I thought we’d be now, but it wasn’t with five cabañas and casitas rented out and living fully off-grid with solar power and hot water showers from our well!

We moved to La Colina at the end of rainy season. The palapa roof on our house has three major leaks. We learnt to put buckets in the right places. We had no power. Just a few headlamps and solar lights we’d brought from the UK. We bought brighter lights, and a generator to charge them. At first we used a small cooler with ice to keep a few things cold, and soon upgraded to a chest freezer with the bottom filled with ice, it was clear that a more permanent (and much quieter – that generator is LOUD) solution was needed.

We were introduced to Frank, who is a retired firefighter from the USA and now installs solar systems in Mexico, where he lives with his wife and twin children. Frank designed us a solar system and we took the (very expensive) leap in October. We ordered 12 solar panels and a space age set of batteries, inverters and controllers from Outback.

Then we waited.

We’d been told that the hurricanes in the Caribbean and the associated “disaster dollars” had bought up all the off grid solar systems in stock.

So we waited.

My dad came to visit for three weeks and helped us wire up our house ready for the arrival of the fabled solar power.

Christmas came. Christmas went.

And still we waited.

We bought a single solar panel and hooked it up to this Amarine-made 24V Submersible 4″ Deep Well Water DC Pump we bought online. Best $125 we’ve spent. That pump pumps water up a massive hill to fill 2500 litre tanks without missing a beat. When it’s sunny, it’s pumping. Now we just need to see if our well goes dry before it starts raining again…

Wiring up the solar panel to the well pump
That time when we made water flow uphill!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And still we waited.

Our friend Alex came to visit and started building our composting toilets, Beave and my sister continued the good work. We had learnt from seeing raw sewage flowing into the ocean in Sayulita and having to lug all our water up the hill to our house, that using water to flush poo down the drain is not the way we want to live. Inspired by The Humanure Handbook: A Guide to Composting Human Manure, we built ourselves five wooden boxes with toilet seats on them, into which we place buckets with a bit of sawdust in the bottom.

We don’t use precious water to flush – we use sawdust to create compost instead!
Composting toilets are fun!

These are what we, and everyone who visits La Colina, use to make our deposits. After each use more sawdust is added to cover the business and keep the smell away. When the bucket is full it is emptied into our compost bin, and the cycle begins again. In a couple of years we will have beautiful compost for our gardens, and no sewage will have polluted the local rivers or oceans. The cycle of life, looking after our planet.

And still we waited.

Since the day we moved to La Colina, our neighbour Rogelio has worked with us. We would not be where we are today without him.

He and his son (also called Rogelio, but lovingly referred to by his family as “Burro” (Donkey)) help us with pretty much all aspects of our land. In particular Rogelio Sr is a genius with a chainsaw. He made our gates, stairs, and so much more with just a chainsaw. We feel privileged to call him our friend, and to help provide his family with a living. It’s what La Colina is all about, providing abundance for us, our friends, and our community.

Our man at work
Rogelio y Rogelio Photo: John Curley

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My sister arrived for a visit, followed shortly by my parents and then my brother and his family. At one point in January we had nine people visiting at once!

And still we waited…

The Davidsons and Co in the jungle

One of the reasons we wanted to live here is so that we can welcome our friends and family to visit us. Having so many visitors is both a great pleasure and a jugging act. It was wonderful to spend time with my family, who I don’t see often. The number of visitors we have means that we need to have online forms to collect information about when people want to visit and what skills they want to share, and to keep a calendar of who is here when, and where they are going to stay.

It is also a balance between being very social and having time at home to ourselves. I find that if I spend too many days and evenings out working hard then socialising I run out of energy and get grumpy (poor Beave takes the brunt of that). I am learning to make sure I get some evenings at home, spending quality time with Beave and looking after myself. Sometimes this means leaving our guests to their own devices for a time, which is not always easy. I’m working on learning how to get the balance right and not upset anyone in the process.

Mid way through February we swapped my family for Beave’s. Over the space of a few days my family left and Beave’s son arrived with his girlfriend and two more friends. We installed them in our newly built palapa roof cabañas and put them to work.

Miguel sanding
Varnishing the beautiful parota bar
Jake Tending Bar
Location of the La Colina Grand Opening Party
The New bar at La Colina

We’d been in touch with our solar designer throughout this time, and now, four months after we’d ordered the system, there were finally rumours of our equipment being in Mexico.

After overcoming some issues with the frame for our panels not being quite level, the panels were installed.

Aren’t they beautiful?

We met some wonderful new friends who offered to come help us. We put them to work laying hundreds of meters of cabling and conduit from the batteries to our treehouse, the bodega and the cabañas. This is backbreaking work, and we can’t thank them all enough for their help. Even Nicky, one of our first ever paying guests, helped lay the cabling!

Some of our stellar cabling crew

It was the 22nd of February, 2018 when we finally switched the solar power on. We had silent light in the treehouse. We bought a fridge the next day.

After such a long wait it was great to finally have on demand power. There was also however a feeling of loss. The days of living by the rise and fall of the sun, of candlelit evenings, of a simpler life were gone. It was an important lesson to us both that living without modern day essentials is not only possible, but very enjoyable.

Recently we’ve wired in power to the Sky Casita (thanks to our good friend Kevin), the Las Palmitas Cabañas and the Jungle Cabin. I felt the most proud of myself I have in a long time when I switched on the power to what is essentially a three bedroom house, that I had wired myself, and it all worked. I am very grateful to my father for teaching me electrics and so much more in life.

One of my favourite aspects of living in the jungle is achieving tangible successes. Picking a chili off a plant I’ve grown from seed, watching a tank fill with water on top of a hill, plugging a light into a socket I’ve wired and having it work – these give true feelings of achievement. I can’t help but feel that the lack of physical, tangible achievements in so many office jobs is part of the reason so many of the people I care about are feeling disenfranchised and disillusioned. Getting your hands dirty, learning new skills, and enjoying the fruits of your labour are fundamental parts of being human.

I invite you all to visit La Colina and experience the joy playing in the dirt can bring.

These have been some of the most fascinating months of my life. It is amazing how rewarding building, making things work, welcoming guests, living in nature, and settling down in a beautiful jungle paradise (full of biting creatures and falling branches though it may be) has turned out to be. I am so fortunate to have Beave as my partner in this endeavour, we make an excellent team.

It is difficult at times to be away from family and friends, and to balance “work” with “me time” while living and working in the same place. It’s a constant act of juggling relationships, friendships, responsibilities and relaxation. But really, we all have that same juggling act no matter where we live, or what business we are in.

At least with this home, and this way of making a living, we can invite others on the journey with us. Our guests, our family, our friends, our community, our volunteers and our staff are all so important to us, and they all benefit along with us.

Come play in the jungle with us!                photo: John Curley

 

Jungle Journal

All the young dudes…

  • March 12, 2018
  • by Beave

There are moments here. Many moments and it’s a great thing this blog gets to capture them. Things changing fast and will never be the same again.

The first time we saw the humpback whales leaping out of the the water in front of the beach bar we had to check ourselves. Did that actually happen? The splash from these immense beasts is spectacular. Tails surfacing and slipping back under with a slow wave. They entertained us under the sunset for two nights and then moved on.

Nights recently have not been conducive to sleep. We thought that Maustrappe had developed a bad eating habit as she woke us up crunching on her food loudly at 2 am. I decided to encourage her to shut up by shining a torch right at her head. The possum that actually got flashed in the eyes was startled and unimpressed. At about twice the size of the cat it crashed about loudly and frantically trying to get out of presumably the cat hole in the back door where it got in. It ended up in a cupboard stubbornly refusing all persuasion to move. I very cleverly created a barrier of chairs around the cupboard creating a maze that led to the cat hole. I arm myself with a bathroom plunger and give the brute a prod or two to get it started. Not playing the game at all the plunger is attacked with what turns out to be a rather sharp and large set of possum teeth. No wonder it eats so loudly. It then deftly leapt over my useless barrier and hid in the far corner near the balcony door. Jayne woke briefly to mutter some encouragement. A swing of plunger and loud swearing does the trick and the possum closely followed by a curious cat runs onto the balcony. Seeing an approaching cat and a naked ginger man with a chewed plunger is too much and he leaps over the balcony into the night. I check out the ground below for broken possum and there is none. That is one traumatised but tough little bugger.

My son Jake arrives with his girlfriend and mate… but not before his house mate who we have known for many years. He contacted us and asked to be secreted on our land for a few days before Jake arrived so he could be a surprise addition.  Happily we accept and put him to work. The next day we all arrive at the airport to meet them. A ragged bunch arrive with sorry tales of a long and adventure filled journey through NY and Cancun and Havana and Mexico City to here. It’s a minor miracle they made it. There is a dash to the Gentleman’s room to release unspeakable things. Jake’s girlfriend is already at the bar. It’s going to be a long month…. We get to the van and take a predetermined route out of the airport and decide to pick up a hitchhiker. Jake’s house mate jumps in the van to be greeted with much jet lagged excitement.

The final chapter in our solar panel saga plays out. We spend all our money leveling the solar frame with much hardware. I spend a very hot & sunny day bolting & sweating up a ladder with an ex-fire fighter from California. Good news is that according to his experience the fire risk on our land is negligible.  A humidity of 4-5% can be a worry but ours rarely drops below 30% so we have one significant thing less to worry about. He is also a ginger man. What are we doing in this sun!!??  Some days are spent pulling endless black and aluminium power cables through hundreds of meters of orange conduit through thick jungle. We get help from our new airBnB guests and an entire family from Oregon. Couldn’t have done it without them. Our batteries arrive. They are the most expensive things we have in our lives by quite a margin. They are introduced to their new house and settle in quickly. The computer, robot, control panel, centre of operations looks like a unit from Star Trek. With a flick and a twist and a few final expletives it fires up and in the distance, in a treehouse far far away, a light goes on. It’s taken 5 months. We have power.

   

With power comes much responsibility. The first and most important of which is to apparently get Jayne a fridge. This is quickly decided upon. We all head to Las Varas in the van on a fridge hunt. Turns out the news that we are getting paid by our soon to arrive friends to stay in the Selva Vista (yet-to-be-finished) apartment has sent us a touch giddy. We return home with a packed van. Fridge, oven and new sexy Chainsaw. Life is complete.

We are woken by our concrete man who has arrived to collect his tools and clothes and all other bits that were evicted from the battery house when the batteries moved in. He arrives with a bucket of yaka fruit and a huge container of homemade Mezcal. Good trade!

Much business and the cabañas are starting to look pretty excellent. Our good friend in town suggested to us that hanging beds might be a thing.  This idea ignited by tequila took hold. It gives us the very best excuse to use up all of our bamboo. Our man sets about designing bamboo hanging beds both single and queen size and a double size hanging sofa/bed for the apartment.  We use miles of rope to lash the things together and suspend them. Our bamboo pile is seriously reduced. We are delighted to have finally found a use for the stuff!

We make a trip to buy new mattresses for all our new beds. Limonada the pick up truck is deployed. On the way home we are overtaken by a scooter frantically trying to attract our attention. One of our large mattresses is missing. Much hand signaling suggests it’s not that far away. I jump out of the truck and walk a half a km back up the busy highway to retrieve it. Thankfully its not destroyed and has bounced onto the side railing. I hoist it on my back and head back to the truck dodging the traffic. I get to 20 yards behind Limonada and she moves off and disappears in the distance. Jayne somehow missed the brightly coloured queen size thing  moving dangerously towards her swearing loudly and took off to make a U turn and try and rescue me. She eventually finds me on the side of the road covered in muck and sweat sitting on a slightly road damaged mattress.

There is a swing dance festival in town and no room at the inns so our little Jungle cabin has been booked out for days. We have had 4 crops of guests through. It’s not much money but it’s a start and everyone loves being out here so our reviews are great.  The boys have taken over one of our new cabañas and Jake and his girlfriend are installed in another. We prepare for our friend from Darlington coming over. She arrives and is installed in her own private cabaña.

The central outdoor kitchen area is looking rather well.  We have introduced a palapa shade roof, sink, worktop and an oven. It even has its own working power socket!! We will plumb the solar into lighting and more sockets soon.

The bathroom shower block has been transformed. Our resident bats have been encouraged to move to more suitable accommodation which allows the place to have a coat of paint and remain clean. Continuous falling bat guano is a challenge.

As a final touch we have created a stairway and a platform up to the roof which gives a raised area to eat, sunbathe or relax under the jungle/stars. There is a bannister around this area as it’s small enough for drunks not to be trusted.  It’s looking beautiful. We have just listed all the cabañas separately on airBnB and also the whole area as an open-plan 3 bedroom retreat.  We have a serious amount of bookings and enquiries already!!!

It’s changed…..

From this………..

 

To this ……..

  

We make an early start and head North to get supplies. The time zone change catches us and we arrive very early. We are making great time as a result until we get stuck on the road on the way back due to some accident again. Common theme we know. It’s an hour on the same bit of road and nothing is coming the other way. We hear a helicopter. We are close to a local town and we divert in for some lunch. We hear that a bus has hit a taxi and it’s not a good result. When we return to the road we pass what is left of a car but there is not much left. 30 feet down into the jungle is the bottom of a bus, wheels up. A large full transit bus to Guadalajara packed with families. There are fatalities and many serious injuries. We hear later that the taxi driver who is well known in San Pancho was at the end of a few days of a drink and drugs binge. Another humbling day.

The Six Nations Rugby is happening and I’m suddenly not the only one that cares. It is possible now we have some power to get my laptop functional enough to run a VPN and fool the internet gods that I’m sitting in a bar in UK somewhere and allow me to watch it like every other license paying UK citizen.  My Irish mates are also willing to get up at 7 am to drink Mezcal and watch the match.  Ireland v Wales …. don’t want to talk about it.  They do….. constantly.

More good friends from Darlington are due in a few days and there is a mad rush of wood cutting, window making, chair hanging, safe installation, bloody floor cleaning and sink plumbing to get it ready for them. We create a staircase onto the roof of the orange block which makes for an outside raised lounging area. Fairy lights installed and the place is perfect with a good few hours to spare. How this place has changed….

From this ……….

 

To this …………..

 

We do another airport collect run and meet the others on the beach before arriving home. It’s a full moon and the jungle is lit up. No need for torches. A well lubricated crowd all witness our first Selva Vista apartment guests check in. They love it.

That’s a full house for us.

NINE guests !!

Here we go.

 

 

 

 

La Colina Project

Who Flung Dung? By Linda (Jayne’s mum)

  • February 20, 2018
  • by Alan Davidson

Jayne’s Mum, Dad, Brother and Sister all came to visit La Colina in January. Here’s a guest post from Jayne’s mum Linda.

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After driving 4595 km from Calgary, we arrived at La Colina late one January afternoon, Alan and I were hoping to surprise Jayne and Beave as we were one day early. Instead, they surprised us by not being there! We set up camp.

Following closely on our heels, were Sam and Taryn, the motorcycling duo from Australia.  We had hosted them in Calgary as couchsurfers last July. (rideto-theend.com)

Our daughter, Heather, and a Romanian from Switzerland, Andrei, were already here. Then Philip, Kelly and SnakeJaguar flew in three days later, so now we were nine camper/volunteer workers enjoying a reunion with each other and Jayne and Beave in the jungle.

Lots to do and we all sweated the days away woodworking, plumbing, sewing, painting/varnishing, cleaning buildings, fixing the truck and generator, and preparing for, and erecting, solar panels. The busy days were often followed tasting Mexican fare in the little town of San Pancho, or neighbouring town of Sayulita.

 

Sewing Cushion Covers

Heather’s Banjo Bathroom Counter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Playing with SJ

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mr. Fixit Philip working on Truck Brakes and Generator
Solar Frame Installation

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Heather’s boyfriend Julian and Kelly’s sister and family joined Beave and Jayne and the whole Davidson clan for an evening out in San Pancho.

No sign of scorpions, snakes or other scary jungle creatures (except for Beave in his baggy work pants!), but there are beautiful colourful butterflies and birds in abundance at La Colina.

One of the Mexican workers caught an armadillo one night and his son brought it to show us, carrying it by its tail!

 

 

 

After a few days of cold, outdoor showers (which Beave assured were good for us!) Alan hooked the shower into the Bodega’s tankless hot water system and we all became instantly squeaky clean. Philip, Kelly, SJ, Alan and I, set off for town in the Razor ATV.  Part way along the dirt road, we came face to face with a cow which couldn’t make up it’s mind which side of the track to allow us to pass. Finally, it chose to turn sideways, completely blocking our path! Continuing on, Philip drove through a fresh cow patty – a gift left by the obstructing cow, no doubt! The newly cleaned Razor, Kelly, and I, got completely splattered in dung. We were not amused!

 

Jungle Journal

UK Surf & Stings

  • February 9, 2018
  • by Beave

It’s been five months since we first arrived from Manchester airport and only four months since we bought the land and started this project. All things converge and conspire to humble, surprise and delight us in equal measure pretty much every day. We have had, as expected, a hectic January with many comings and some goings. February is bidding fair to be equally mental.

Jayne’s parents arrived middle of January to join her sister and they have all been dutifully deployed ever since. They drove all the way down from Calgary pulling a tent trailer packed with all the stuff Jayne left at their house before she left on her motorbike 4 years ago. Our house now has posh cups and plates. All the notably jankier bits and pieces have been replaced with things from Jayne’s time in her flat in London. Proper upgrade.

For the past few weeks there has been much cleaning and fixing and creating delivered with great enthusiasm and skill. They head on the long road home again next week in time for us to have a couple of precious essential days of space to ourselves to restore our aching sanity and make plans for our next influx.

We get a sudden instant booking for the jungle cabin. She arrives the very next day. We kick out the current tenant (Jayne’s sister). Much busyness cleaning and making good all the things. Gas is plumbed and sheets are laundered and floors are swept. Cushions are sewn and counter tops are lined and lights are hung. We await the arrival of the girl from Bristol. She doesn’t show up. Much confusion until we check and discover the booking is for next month.  Not the best start at hosting… Anyway the place is in good shape for our next lot of visitors arriving the next day.

   

We acquire a number of outdoor tables and chairs from town. They are much needed but are bright red and coca-cola branded . We de-brand them & deploy cans of Copper and a CP3-0 gold spray paint . Works rather acceptably. They are much used.

Jayne’s brother, who she shared her motorbike adventure with, arrives with his girlfriend and insanely cute one-year-old daughter SnakeJaguar. I will leave the story of how she got such a kick arse cool name to Jayne. I’m sure she will get the time and energy to blog soon.

 

There is a strange legacy that is manifest on our land from an experiment to introduce citrus fruit to this area. In the 70’s the Mexican president who had great affection for San Pancho (and his mistress who lived there) made a deal with a large Japanese company to introduce orange , lime and lemon trees to the area. At the time the local crops were predominantly Mango and Palm Oil. The Japanese built a series of warehouses that still exist (now community centers) and started growing citrus trees. What happened in those warehouses is not fully explained but things got a little mixed up. The result is that we have trees here that bear strange fruit. Oranges that taste and look lemony. Lemons that look like limes. Limes that give lemon juice. There are advantages. A slice of orangey-lemon-lime in a gin and tonic works a treat.

As the Swiss family Davidson contingent here expands further we are also joined by an Aussie couple on the same motorbike journey Jayne took with her brother. Alaska to Argentina via La Colina. Both are engineers. He is a civil engineer and she is clearly an uncivil one. Poor sods park their bikes and are dropped right in the thick of it.

Our solar frame needs concreting in at exactly the right angle of the dangle for the maximum photon catching efficiency. The ground on which it sits is at a different angle in all directions. The frame itself has legs at 3.6M to 2.6M all of which need to be dropped into accurately placed holes of different sizes and secured permanently at an angle of 17 degrees to the sun. All this and leave enough room underneath to hang hammocks in the shade.   They agree to take this on and create sums, drawings, formula and numbers, string lines and marks. We bring in our concrete guy who now has the whole plan translated for him. Chances are this might just maybe work out OK. Perhaps.

 

Our Romanian friend arrives in the night. He lives in Switzerland. We have known him for many years from the Nowhere Festival in Spain. He brings me Slivovitz in a plastic water bottle smuggled from Eastern Europe. This stuff is an extraordinarily efficient plum brandy that has been known to considerably shorten many of my favorite days (in a good way). I’m saving most of it for when there is a smaller more appropriate audience. He delivers Swiss Chocolate to an excited Jayne and pitches his tent. We spend some good days balancing work and sunsets. He and our Aussie bikers are inspired to dig up a mountain of rocks behind the cabin and create an outdoor en-suite toilet area that we designed but hadn’t quite got around to building yet. Looks fab and will make staying there a whole heap easier.

Our concrete guy is still finishing the concrete floor of which we are now unable to speak about without making a bad face. It’s taken a huge amount of time and money and stomach lining to get it this far. It’s level and brownish but we are over it. So very over it. Our man spends 3 days cleaning the thing and sealing it to make the best of what we have. Stairs are reinstalled and we move on.

Photo: John Curley
Photo John Curley.

Concrete man’s wife is very grateful that we have taken her man on. She has a number of his ten or eleven children (he is not sure how many he has) and so any income is greatly appreciated. News is that she has been making cookies and edible Mexican delights for us for days. She arrives with some of the kids and delivers boxes of cream, strawberry, pineapple & chocolate treats. She and the kids stay a few days on the land happily sleeping on the shelves in the battery house (cell). We count 15 people living on our land tonight.

Photo John Curley.

Excitement. We find out that one of my favorite photographers ever has arrived in San Pancho. We have met a few times briefly at Burning Man so I make contact and agree that he and his girlfriend visit us here. He is retired now and looking around for further adventure. We spend a great day inspiring each other and I have a spot of hero worship as he brings out the camera and starts capturing what we see everyday with his unique eye. This blog includes many of his photos. If it’s a good one it’s almost certainly one of his. Going to see a great deal of each other in the future. Good news.

Photo John Curley.

I spoke to my Dad on the phone. Good to talk to him. Afterwards I make a sudden and important decision to take a flight home. The week in the UK was stunning for a number of reasons. The first was the January cold that came as a considerable shock to my now soft and timid constitution. My furriest and warmest of bikinis are no match for January in the UK. My clothes that we put aside to cope with such an eventuality are packed in a hurry and I soon discover they are 50% mould. I do not smell the best.

I am collected from airport in Manchester and after an essential top up of Guinness for breakfast I’m deposited with an especially naughty friend who I have arranged to cut my hair. I have been cutting it myself and I think I’ve done a great job. She does not agree. I am told that I stink and must immediately have a bath and only then will she mend my head. My first bath of the year. Absolute bliss.

I have a few  jet lagged happy days in Darlington. I visit  my house, which is rented out, to prepare for new tenants and collect essentially important things we did not have space for first time around. These things end up being lots of art, some shoes and a hat. I notice that my love and attachment to my old home in Darlington has faded. It holds all the memories and still a load of our stuff but now is just a house.

Really good catching up with so many proper friends in such a short time. I visit my brother, my nieces and my folks and go to my first ever funeral. I stay with my daughter and more proper friends before heading home. I have two new mould free shirts that were hurriedly bought for me while I  was in the pub as the mouldy look apparently just wasn’t cutting it. My poor mother has spent many hours removing every last spore from all my remaining things. I have managed to squeeze in a further two baths and my suitcases are full to burst with my full luggage allowance of art, shoes, a hat, Yorkshire Gold Tea, Marmite, Strong Cheese and HP sauce. I’m sorted.

 

It is somewhat interesting to note that I do not feel that I have been home for a visit. I feel that I left home on a visit. After only 4 months here that is a surprise.

Home again and straight back to it. I am immediately in a Materiales buying lengths of steel to strengthen the solar frame. I arrive back to see Jayne’s brother carrying a lump of metal across a field onto our land. I have gatecrashed a project to raise the water pump solar panel up high on a gate post. One of the bigger jobs on our list. The old solar frames in the neighbouring land have been taken down, dragged away and recycled into something that will work. Task achieved and tested. We have a functioning water pump and we now don’t fall over the solar panel propped up against a rock.

 

Jayne’s brother and clan are leaving for a few days down the coast. Back for one day later this week. While I was away the truck broke again and he thankfully fixed it. We now have a hand brake and the gearshift sort of works. Result. The truck is now officially called “Limonada”. When life gives you a lemon ….

 

Couple of friends arrive from Calgary for a week in the jungle cabin. They are also engineers. They also are dropped right in it as they arrive. The solar panels were concreted in nearly correctly. The nearly bit is costing us a heap of cash in additional leveling bits to fit the panels. The solar panels are now in the battery house (cell) where our concrete guy is no longer. They require a perfectly flat space to land on. Our frame has one leg two inches too high and that is not good enough. Our new engineers and I set about cross bracing what is there and repainting it to look as sexy as we can. We also repurpose some 25 feet lengths of water pipe we found in the jungle and plan to trench through the rocky ground to create conduits linking the frame with the battery house (cell). Solar panels will be launched in just a few days time.

The casitas are coming along really well. The BrickS*House is plumbed in with a shower and sink on it’s way. That whole area is going to be stunning. The casitas are rustico but rather pretty. Their shaggy drying out roof fringes overhang the palm bark walls and large mosquito screen windows. The views are beautiful. A new walkway through the jungle from the BrickS*House area to the front gate has been cut. We will build composting areas here next week. We have met some new friends from Oregon who have just moved down here who get what we do and are keen to help. Not sure they will love us so much after digging rocks out of a composting hole for some hours. There is a phenomenon here that whenever you dig a hole 2 feet deep you get 10 feet of rocks out of it. Magic.

  

Had a surf this morning in Sayulita with Jayne’s brother. So good for my mind and soul and perfectly timed. I’ve been living at such a pace that taking the time waiting for waves and feeling the ocean again was a real gift. We both caught a few good rides. I arrive home irritatingly self satisfied. That did not last long.

We decide to suit up and burn some cow poo and go collect honey from the hives. We go back to the source of the bees to collect more hive parts, pollen traps and other beekeeping useful things. I am, this time,  all in white and armed with cow poo smoke and a real head cage. I approach the hives confidently even after being warned by our man that the bees were feeling “brave” today. Brave indeed they were. Each of the very many tiny black grip-dots on my whitish gloves had a bee on in in full attack mode. I am stung a dozen times on each hand in no time at all. It hurts. I bugger off.

I make it back to the pool and remove my head cage and soak my swelling hands in the water. I take a breath and watch Jayne and her sister both suited up in pro-bee suits walking past me and both covered in bees. The bees are not getting through the suits and decide I am a much easier target and attack. I am instantly surrounded and stung countless times. They are in my hair and my head is getting very sore. I move for the smoke but this just pisses them off and they go for me again. I make it up the hill in a smokey cloud of poo and bees and into the house quickly. Inside I find sanctuary behind the mesh doors. I remove the remaining bees from sleeves and hair. I take an anti-histamine, reach for the Mezcal and declare no further interest in honey. They can keep it.

My son Jake arrives from Dublin with his mighty girlfriend and a grand mate very soon and we are preparing as best we can for that. The diary is getting packed. Our modest little cabin has a number of Airbnb bookings now, and we have a fairly continuous stream of visitors booked through to April. We will be adding three casitas and the apartment onto our Airbnb portfolio very very soon so that will make for extra fun and games juggling friends and paying and non paying guests. This is what we have created so there is no moaning about it that anyone wants to listen to. It’s a touch overwhelming but it will be good moving into the guts of a tourist season to see how we fair. We have a lot to learn .

Photo John Curley

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Jungle Journal

Home

  • January 25, 2018
  • by Beave

It’s a surprisingly emotional day. I’m leaving to UK for one week to see my Mum for her Birthday and catch up with house, family and friends. I am leaving Jayne, Mausetrappe and the home we have built here for the first time. Brings up all the feels.

And this is the sunset I leave behind.

Thank you John Curley for this extraordinary filter free, unedited photo. 
Jungle Journal

Don’t Fence Me In

  • January 14, 2018January 16, 2018
  • by Beave
Stunning start to New Year. Have our first random booking and preparing for life to change as we take on guests and visitors in large numbers over the next weeks and months. We have a facebook page now. Please do all the likey & sharey things which apparently helps us greatly. 

We give ourselves permission to stay up and see the New Year in at the beach like proper grown ups. We meet up with friends and eat early to avoid the crowds and head to our favorite bar and settle in. A DJ is playing mellow tunes and it is some hours before we notice that the beach is now home to a mixed crowd of about 1000 highly enthusiastic but ever so well-behaved folk. We have accidentally secured prime spot and allow the year to pass gracefully by making a terrible job at spinning three-foot long sparklers that we bought from an arms/firework dealer at the traffic lights. Amazingly no one is burned. We head for home by moonlight and stop on the way to accept invited tequila slugs from the bottle from our neighbours. Rude not to. My legs somehow are on a different time zone to the rest of me and that makes for some interesting balance issues, which are noticed by all. I am dispatched home.

2018 feels strange. I wake up with my tongue stuck to my eye. It takes a good few hours to get much into focus. Rehydration via buckets of tea helps considerably. It appears I am not the grown up I wanted to be. Guilt is forcing us to be productive. I soon find myself up to my eyes in plumbing and window construction. And so the year begins.

We are stuck in a long line of traffic again. It’s not a good feeling to be crawling along slowly knowing that at some point you will see why. There is so much carnage on these roads that you see things too often you don’t want to. In this case it’s not so bad. A milk truck has overturned and the road is getting decidedly yoghurty. We return home eventually to the news of another crashed milk truck 20 miles up the road the other way. Not a good day for milk.

Our Sayulita work party has arrived. Two guys, keen as can be, prepared to knock off all the jobs we put off last year. They dutifully scrub and seal the wood on the outside shower. They repair and replace stairs all the way up the hill, which will make falling off much less likely. They relocate tinacos and plumb them into the well awaiting pump and power. They move all the bloody useless bamboo to a new storage area out of sight. Much distraction as a small boa constrictor is found to be resident in the bamboo pile. It’s a beautiful thing.

We also have an entirely unsuccessful first attempt at putting up the solar panel holder. The 3.6M legs that need bolting to the top 6M x 4M frame are a challenge. Much buggering about fails to produce any useful progress and breaks two of the legs. We postpone the project. All in all it’s been a very useful few days of work and singing. The older of the Sayulita blokes sings songs that he makes up all day long. He tells stories of the songs he created for lost loves many years ago and serenades Jayne at least once a day. Jayne is very impressed as her own attempts at singing are rarely appreciated.

   

Music is a missing element from our daily lives, which we are addressing. As part of the gifts we took away from our visit to Chapala was a large box of CDs. They were gifted by some generous senior folk. Our truck (which is now again with Jesus having it’s transmission healed) has practically no reliable parts except a CD player which was hidden and we just found it ! This has allowed us to trawl the box and find out what musical treats we can expect. It’s an eclectic bunch of CDs that I suspect are from releases that are all considerably older than me. Bing Crosby is my current favorite with Frank Sinatra and Lou Armstrong following close behind. I am surprisingly entertained by singing loudly to Bing Crosby-“Don’t fence me in“ while driving a dodgy pick up truck back from Jesus’s place.

Our ability to power up our house and charge up devices with magic boxes attached to our truck (or generator) has allowed the introduction of playlists through phones/laptops to add to the mix. I spend a rather pleasant sunny afternoon painting the gypsy cabin listening to Frank Zappa, John Otway, Captain Hot-knifes and Ella Fitzgerald.

We have made a move to promote ourselves and put a bit of extra pressure on. We have listed the gypsy cabin on Airbnb . We are offering a rustic and unique outside shower (which is not quite finished and has no water), a toilet block for sink and composting loo (with no floor, water or power), and a kitchen area (with no kitchen in it yet). This is designed to incentivise us into getting things done. It’s working. We get our first enquiry and shoot into action trying to get all the stuff not done done. We have our first booking. Two Americans for 11 days in March. It’s a start.

Composting loos and buckets of sawdust have now arrived in the orange toilet block, the bodega apartment (Selva Vista), and our treehouse. Three porcelain potties are relegated as planters. Design of loos is pretty much perfected and the composting areas to dump the results are allocated and ready to accept incoming buckets of “the good stuff”. This makes Jayne very happy.

We found a rusty metal gate in the middle of the land with no apparent purpose. It must have been a remnant of when the land was separated into sections but it’s not at all clear. We collect it and deposit it with our ironman with the solar frame legs to repair and strengthen. He is tasked to restore the gate to former glory, add a metal mosquito mesh and weld on some bits so we can set it in concrete and make a door for the Bodega apartment (Selva Vista). It works rather well.

The metal door for the battery house is on and finishing touches are in place. That is a solid little prison cell . Our crazy concrete man has done a great job and has actually slept in there the past few nights on one of the concrete battery shelves. If only we can find a way of assembling the solar frame we would be ready for the photon catching equipment delivery. It does not seem to be an issue as the delivery status is currently “in transit”. Takes that pressure off a little.

     

We are busy building toilets when groups of folk from Montreal pass by. Turns out that one of the girls lived on our land for many months some years ago and that her and her friend who is with her tried to buy it . Turns out they were the girls we were told of who put in an offer that was bettered by an American guy who almost completed on the deal but his boyfriend wouldn’t let him. We arrived a month after he pulled out. Timed it perfectly. We give the girls and their parents a tour of the land. Good to talk French for a while. In fact the girls give us a tour of the land and explain many things. They point out all the bits that are now missing or were planned and never finished. Our confusion as to how the stone cottage area worked is unsurprising. Turns out the building was purpose built as the ceremony area for the Ibogain ceremonies.

The moon is super. A “super moon”. One result is that the surf is lifted an extra few feet and crashed down on the shore with more gusto. It’s a proper noise that we can hear from right out here. Another result is being able to walk around without a torch after sundown between the moonlight shadows cast by the trees. It’s rather stunning. Seeing your own shadow cast down the beach by the moon is also worth seeing. Another one next month we are told. Super moon 2 coming soon.

My mouse catching skills have abandoned me. It’s been over a month since my peanut butter bait has lured a rodent into my trap cage. Maustrappe, however, has now bettered me. Three and half mice in the last few weeks. One of them was twice the size of her head which was a task to persuade her to let go of, under the bed, at 3 am. The last half a mouse was left as a gift next to my side of the bed exactly in the spot where my foot meets floor when I get up for a pee in the dark. I remain ungrateful for such gifts. So Maustrappe is beating me by a head (a bit of torso and two legs). Need to raise my game.

The machine has arrived. Properly and seriously arrived. We were teased by a 20 minute visit a few days ago before it departed in a hurry to where it should have been working. We watch hypnotised as massive chunks of earth are built up, removed, moved around and flattened. We watch as three huge spaces are cut into the hill around the BrickS*House. These will be home to our three new casitas. They will have stunning views from their elevated platforms. Our man and his family have been collecting wood for weeks for them and work starts now! Maquina man finishes off and tries to leave. It has taken months to get him here and so Jayne kidnaps the machine and refuses to let it leave. She agrees to take him home and collect him again in the morning but the machine stays!! He is stunned but surprisingly compliant.

  

The next morning we collect him and return him to his machine. The machine is then deployed creating us a new road out of the piles of clay that have been unearthed and a retorno on the hill in front of our house. He cleans up our access to the house to makes the hill considerably less treacherous to drive on and creates a new loop at the top of the hill which allows us to get up and down without the usual 5 point turn avoiding trees and roots. This will save us a heap of time. Bonus is that the loop has created a perfect central garden island and a new route to the pool. A couple of lovely flat areas are created for better parking and Jayne releases the machine from captivity and off it goes. We may never see it again but it was a very welcome visit.

Clay. We have uncovered many tons of yellow clay and many more tons of brown clay. This gives us excellent security when the rains come as when it dry’s it’s like concrete and avoids us building retaining walls. This amount of clay is probably why La Colina is still an impressive hill rather than a less impressive mound of mud after the rainy season. The newly cut clay faces will act as back walls in the casitas. We are told the quality of the brown clay is superb for pottery. Jayne is keen on cutting in a bread oven into one of our new clay walls. Endless clay based possibilities in our future.

  

There has been some swearing and jiggling and fiddling but finally we persuade many meters of electric wire down some old water pipes we found on the path near the remaining bees. We connected one end to our first solar panel that is propped up in the sunniest spot we can find near the old metal gates to the gypsy cabin. The other end forms a collection of wires, pipes and rope that are attached to our well pump which is 25 meters down the well. The water has another 20m to get up to our tinacos . We watch the bubbles move up the clear pipe out of the well which happily confirms the pump is pumping and we take the trek up the hill to see what happens. We have water. Sun beams are pushing water from our well up the hill and are topping up our tinacos for free ! (except the cost of all the bits of course). This is a wonderful moment. One very important mission accomplished.

  

We plumb in everything we can think of. Outside shower, hand basin in orange block, outside tap above outside sink, gypsy cabin and the Bodega apartment plumbing system all have all the water they need. Excellent.

There is an opportunity we can’t miss. Our man has been tasked to take down a massive parota tree that is above the waterfalls and we are invited to spectate. Parota is protected so only dead trees can be felled. This one must have had a very good life. It’s huge and impressive. Our man with a very large chains saw is entirely dwarfed as he cuts away for best part of an hour before this immense lump of wood hits the ground. It has consumed a number of trees in its time so there is a hole running through it’s center. That ruins it for the big tables the owner wanted to make from the wide trunk. Still a number of truck loads of very excellent wood have just been made available.

  

We gather ourselves and direct our faith in our resourceful Mexican super heroes to get this bloody solar frame up. By standing on the newly built battery house and leaning a ladder at a stupid angle it is possible to persuade bolts through holes. Two newly strengthened legs are fixed. By a series of death defying circus feats involving a ladder and no fear the remaining legs are on. We tie the structure to two trees and call it a success. We tie a plumb line around the base to show the correct level and agree to concrete the legs in later. It’s hot as hell in that sunny spot. I’m soaked in sweat and a fetching shade of pink. From the top of the hill the shadows cast by the legs makes the structure look huge and broken.

The solar equipment we are told has landed in Mexico. The wrong end of Mexico but it’s getting closer.

Made the very last of our mosquito windows for the Bodega Apartment (Selva Vista) today. It is now an enclosed space with plumbing for two sinks & a shower. We have hot water. We also have a brown & concrete dust floor that is sufficiently dry enough to clean. Concrete man has spent the last 24 hours cleaning it up and sealing it . The wood is cut and treated to enclose the bathroom and we await a single length of gas pipe before we do that. The parota wood for the bathroom and kitchen counters are ready to install and we have Jayne’s sister here who is a cabinet maker who can get them fitted for us. Oh we are close.

    

We greet the day by the finding of the other half of the mouse this morning.

Delightful.

Jungle Journal

Bromeliads from heaven….

  • December 31, 2017December 31, 2017
  • by Beave

The end of another year. Thank you for all your support with donations and adopting trees, bats and bee hives. It’s a considerable help to us and we appreciate it greatly. As do the bees and the trees and the bats.

Strange days continue to happen. It’s Monday and I’m at Oxxo, which is the Mexican 24 hour chain store that appears at every petrol station, and elsewhere. Oxxo do a half decent coffee from a gurgly machine and are useful for milk and ice. The rest of the store seems to be shelf after shelf of biscuits and cookies. It is also where everyone tries to top up their phone on a dodgy touch screen till. It is often a long process followed by disappointment. This makes the queue last enough time for coffee to go cold and ice to melt.

“Juan Juan The Slow Concrete Man“ is not there for his 8am arranged Oxxo pick up. I drink my coffee and wait a while. A guy walks over to me making direct eye contact and talks in a slow drawl of Spanish. I pick up the words for floor and concrete and practically nothing else. I later find out that no one much understands what he says most of the time. We have an odd gesture based conversation and I agree to take him to look at where our concrete floor should have been 3 days ago. I give up on JJTSCM with the idea that maybe he has sent this guy in his place. We arrive and our man is already there and greets this new guy as a good friend. I am confused. They look at me expectantly. I have not a clue what’s going on. I practically drag translator Jayne out of bed to make some sense of it all.

First development is that JJTSCM texts to tell us he is feeling unwell and is hospitalized with chronic apathy. We are thankful we don’t have to fire him. The new guy is a friend of our man’s who we met briefly at a bus stop waiting for our solar frame to arrive. Someone mentioned the floor to him then. He recognised me at the Oxxo while he was on his way to another job for a local dentist. Well the dentist hadn’t paid him so he chanced his arm, sacked off the dentist’s job and jumped in with us. He agrees to return the next day with a crew and skill and enthusiasm and have the floor and tiling done by the end of the week for a fixed price.

We take a breath and recognise that JJTSCM effectively fired himself today and has been replaced with a much better option without us consciously doing a thing. All by 9.30am. We retreat for tea.

Our friend has arrived from Reno and we set out to show him Sayulita and meet up with our favorite Yoga/Pilates instructor who we met on the bamboo course. She meets us and a few tequila based refreshers. Later we go look at the surf. Our Reno friend tried surfing for the first time today and hasn’t quite got the hang of it yet. He blames the board which makes him sound like he’s been at it for years.

We watch too many people not catching waves as the sun sets. It is a glorious evening. I hear my name shouted. It’s definitely my name. I am confronted by an excited guy in hippy pants & sunglasses that I recognise as a friend that I met first in New Zealand, then Israel, then USA, then Spain, then South Africa. He is in Sayulita with his wife who has extended family who have been here since it was a village and own extraordinary seafront property on the hills around us. Sayulita is 10 times the size on San Pancho and packed with tourists so this chance meeting is very random. This day is getting weirder. We arrange to meet him and his wife later for dinner and take an adventure tour around some secret places we are introduced to.

 

The next morning starts early getting the new concrete crew set up and away. They are strong and fast and have already surpassed JJTSCM’s efforts in the first few hours. Good news.

Today we have a constant stream of visitors. I collect our newly found friends from their stunningly luxurious buildings above the Sayulita sea. We remove them from luxury and add more Rustico. Our favorite friend who smuggled us in shoes and my water pump from Colorado joins us. He brings 5 of his 6 kids, his wife and their St Bernard puppy, which is 9 months old, and the size of me. They bring cocktails and a good touch of disruptive enthusiasm that only a bunch of kids with machetes can do. We manage to remove the machetes from the kids, check them for obvious wounds and off they go exploring. I escape and head to town to capture our Texan friend who owns a restaurant near the beach. She has wanted to come out and see us for months and we have promised her own area of garden to nurture. In the process I collect a very welcome gift of accurate, proper and perfectly simple tequila glasses from dear friends.

We leave for dinner in town as the sun drops to discuss gardens and concrete and friends lost and found. We return to a dark tree house and try out the glasses. They work a treat!

Things calm down a touch but there is a welcome development. We have received our first rent. Our Reno friend has contributed to proceedings in appreciation of the place (and our loveliness clearly). It’s a strange and welcome thing to have a “money in” section in our books. And so it begins.

 

During the past mad busy few days our man has been noisily attacking our Parota chunks under clouds and mounds of sawdust. What has appeared is very impressive. The wood is now alive with smooth texture & deep colours. Our Parota kitchen counter is ready for the beaten copper bucket/bowl that will be the sink. Our huge round slices of tree/outside tables are ready for setting on logs refined as legs. There is so much beautiful drying Parota we are spoilt for choice. We were in PV stocking up and found similar wood lumps (untreated) for sale at stingingly silly prices. We done good. It’s all going to look epic.

It rained hard again last night. The bouncy splashy wet type for many hours. We are assured this is very very unusual for December. We were caught out and much is wet that shouldn’t be. The vehicles throw films of mud over everything including us. I have a cold. I probably have a touch of ebola mixed in too. I’m being very brave.

Our new concrete man has turned out to be a right character. He is often found a hundred feet up a tree he has climbed just because. He catches huge fresh water shrimp from our streams and juggles scorpions .If he gets stung by one he tells us the cure is to eat it. He has philosophies about pretty much everything and we have a strangely comfortable bond developing. His English is worse that my Spanish and he is, I am told, still fairly incomprehensible anyway. He is a good looking young man, exactly the same age as me, half my weight and twice as strong. It’s a touch depressing.

  

We are getting regular visits to the land from new people we meet in town and further chance meetings with old friends. We have had South Africans arrive I haven’t seen in years and a friend who I last met ten years ago in New Zealand. She just happened to be staying in town. There seems to be a heap of people from Calgary here too. The waterfalls are becoming a popular destination walk and we are easy to find on the way out so there is a steady stream of folk that happen across us and want to know what we are up to. Our tours of the land are getting practice. It is interesting to see the place through fresh eyes and new perspective. It gives us confidence that we are creating a place and space that others will love like we do.

Plans are afoot. Now the Bodega apartment (Selva Vista) is on it’s way to being finished the BrickSHouse area is our next focus. We can get water there from the top of the hill and revive the shower and install one of our newly built composting loos. We have researched acquiring a number of large glamping style bell tents that can be located on platforms and house queen size beds. There is a contact that has a supplier in China and the budget is not too bad. The idea gains some traction when we realise that our man is offering to build us small casitas with palapa roofs from locally foraged materials for much less and very quickly. We calculate that this gives us the best chance to offer something unique and funky and make decent rent in the shortest time.

We have lost our desire for concrete gate posts and that has moved things along considerably. We now have a gate. It was a tree and now, thanks to chainsaw and skill, it’s a fabulous gate hung between wooden gate posts. This gives us a boundary and entrance to our land for the first time. It’s located at the first entry point to the South side and is a great addition to the mix. Love it.

Our orange toilet block has been bugging us. We have revised our plans to revive the shower and tile the floor. It’s a large space. Too large we think for single loo and a shower. We have, therefore, applied a touch of rethink and have created an outdoor shower on a nearby tree. It’s surrounded by a spiral of palm bark planks from downed trees around our solar array. The remaining blocks of palm will be terraced into the earth to create planting zones. Palm wood does not last long out here and disintegrates quickly into fertile planting goodness. So we will tile the floor and chuck in a few beds and boom! … the orange block becomes another resting area for weary volunteers who need a budget option. The outdoor shower is looking very sexy and set to revive the hot and sweaty by dispensing authentic jungle temperature waterfall.

  

Xmas eve is spent borrowing an oven to cook pumpkin pies (strange looking squash pies actually) and watching sunset at our favorite beach bar. There was a set from a jazz guitarist & drummer from the town. A professional trombonist happens to be at the bar and joins them. They improvise on John Coltrane tracks. Perfect.

  

Xmas day comes and goes with minimal fuss. My present is a hand drawn card and I stun Jayne with a parody version of Merry Xmas everyone by Slade on the Ukulele. “And here it is …. our first Xmas in the jungle with a cat. If you’re looking for the perfect life it’s exactly where it’s aaaah-aaaah-aaat !“ …. I’ll save you from the verses. We eat well with friends old and new in town after a particularly lazy morning catching up with family on Skype.

The new bee location has been discovered by at least one Coatis. I saw one on these sticky pawed buggers this morning looking rather pleased with itself. These large raccoon type creatures get into anything and apparently like our honey. They have moved heavy rocks on the beehive roof and taken bites out of the honeycombs. We are repairing and securing them as best we can. The bees are unsettled and one of the smaller hives looks like its been abandoned. We are working on making the place more queen bee friendly and less a honey trap for Coatis.

          

We have had a very strange and shocking accident. We were in the Polaris returning back to the house from plumbing the apartment. It’s my son’s birthday and he is on face time with me following the journey from our phone. There is a sudden and startling loud crashing noise and something hits my head hard and bounces painfully off my leg. We come to a sudden stop and there are very huge chucks of wood everywhere. We check each other. We are somehow not injured. Jayne runs to a spot less likely to be fatal as I look up and around to assess what has happened. A huge branch has fallen directly onto the Polaris roof directly above my head, which was saved from being crushed by the strength and build quality of the roll cage. The bar above my head has a significant dent in it. The rest of the vehicle is bruised but in pretty good shape considering. The offending log of wood is lying in front of us covered in over a dozen quite stunning Bromeliads. It was probably the weight of them that sent it ground wards. When I’m sure nothing else is coming down at me I haul it from the road. It is very heavy and takes all my strength to move. There are smaller large logs all around us that have broken off the main branch. We look up and see where the branch started from and it’s very very high up. The chances of this happening are probably a fair bit less than being struck by lightening. Our luck being directly under this thing as it landed is questionable. Our considerable luck surviving with no injuries at all is not. We are grateful, humbled and both pretty shaken up.

My son and his friend have watched this happen. They are wondering if it was a set up just for them. We are all delighted that his birthday did not include seeing his Dad squashed flat live from the UK.

We take the rest of the day off. The sunset looks particularly pretty and the margaritas are just that extra bit delicious.

 

Our plumbing is done and waiting to be connected up to a tinaco and our new hot water shower looks well posh! The concrete battery house is nearly done and there is so much in the pipeline for the next few weeks. We have three new palapa roofed cabins in production and a crew from Sayulita (our first real work party) arriving after New Year to give us a full week’s work on the white house. The apartment is getting there and on track and we will be offering the “gypsy cabin” up for AirBnB as soon as the paint drys . Progress… poco a poco.

 

 

San Pancho is full of folk now. It’s in post Xmas full swing. Sayalita is unbearably busy we hear. People enquiring about renting the Polaris stopped us in the street. We are mending the bits that the tree broke and have added a “rent our Polaris” page to the website and are sorting out the web of knotted red ribbons which is Mexican commercial car insurance. It’s looking a lot more likely we will actually get a real live punter soon!

Amongst our discoveries when clearing up all the places here are filthy old note pads, drafts of books and a roll of various architectural plans for septic tanks and buildings. It is fascinating to read lists of costs and materials from 8-10 years ago that are so similar to the ones we are creating today. Amongst the bat guano stained pages are letters to guests/friends who have outstayed their welcome and hospital bills for treating Scorpion bites. This bonds us to the folk who were here before us. It reminds us that others had dreams for this place and some were realized. Locals have told us that when Richard (an ex NFL player) was building the tree house and the pool he made the whole place incredibly beautiful. All to attract his wife down to visit from California. He died here but left a strong legacy, which we greatly respect. His carpentry work that remains is outstanding.

 

We discovered that five years ago a girl called Mary setup a treatment retreat for recovering drug addicts here. It was based on the premise that taking  a locally strong hallucinogenic called Ibogain cured addiction. There is much written in credible scientific journals about the effects of Ibogain C20H26N2O (originally African in origin) to help heroin addiction. We continue to learn how that all worked out. It was a controversial venture that did not win unanimous local support or sympathy we hear.

We both are looking back at how our own lives have played out these past few days, weeks and months with some incredulity. This year we have been around the world at least once and have had some extraordinary adventures. We returned to UK in July in time for the Glastonbury Festival (my 27th time and Jayne’s first). We then decided to pack up our lives into 11 bags and a surfboard and move into a tree house in a far away jungle. This was not the plan when we woke in San Francisco, USA on New Years Day a year ago planning to build another temple at Burning Man. That feels like two lifetimes away. I have been in Mexico now for coming up to 4 months. This is the longest I have been in one place since I can remember. It’s a very good thing.

Happy New Year.

Jungle Journal

Christmas Buzz

  • December 23, 2017
  • by Jayne

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!! Sending you all our love, seasons greetings and a big hug. This post is jointly written by us both, so we’ve labelled the writer at the beginning of each section.

Jayne: We’ve decided to skip Christmas this year. No decorations, we are not sending any Christmas cards, or giving presents, and it has been stress free, uncommercial and very nice so far. We’ve been invited to eat Christmas dinner with new friends in town on the 25th, and I am going to attempt to make pumpkin pies. So far the only troubles I’ve had are not having pumpkin, pie dishes or an oven. It’s all going exactly to plan. I’ve still got two days.

To be honest it doesn’t feel a lot like Christmas here in Mexico. When we do see a decorated tree, or one of the very few houses with lights on them, they seem somehow out of place.

It probably has something to do with the weather…

This week’s weather forecast

Beave: Our ability to manifest continues to surprise. Jayne wants local bees on the land. They produce a deep dark honey which is divine stuff. We get a call from a guy who wants to meet up. He is from Chapala and lives close to our illusionary mechanic there.

He has some bees he wants to relocate.

We agree to meet up the next day and potentially collect three hives from somewhere not to far away. The location turns out to be a cornfield less than a mile from our house.

Jayne: I spend quite a lot of time trying to define how La Colina will be in the future. It’s a constantly changing vision and every day we have new ideas, or change course slightly or make a wild new discovery. A few things have been constant however:

 

  1. We will manage the land according to permaculture ethics and principles.
  2. La Colina is intended to be a place for people to take a break from their default world, get in touch with nature, and reset themselves.
  3. La Colina is our home first and everything else second.
  4. We will grow food.
  5. We will have chickens.
  6. We will have bees.

I am keen to have bees not only for their delicious honey and useful wax, but because bees are so important in keeping our planet alive and thriving, and without them so many plants would not survive. I want to nurture them and keep the planet happy. I was thrilled to hear that the bee man wanted to gift us some hives. However my only beekeeping experience is vicariously through my parents and sister, who have hives in Canada, and my very good friends Arielle and Jon, who have a honey farm.

Beave was nominated head beekeeper because he’s so strong, and the hives are heavy! I’ve seen my sister’s beesuit, and so I made Beave a bee hat by stapling mosquito netting around a straw cowboy hat, and duct-taping the holes shut.

Beave sporting my specially constructed hat

 

Beave: I have no experience of bee keeping at all although I do know a fairly large crowd of apiarists.  Somehow this qualifies me to be appointed chief bee mover. Jayne staples mosquito netting around a straw hat and puts me into a white long sleeve shirt with work gloves and wellies. I am fully protected and ready to go they tell me.  Bee man fills a smoker with dried cow pats and in clouds of poo smoke I am introduced to a large amount of fairly pissed off Africanized Mexican bees. They are mildly more aggressive breed and especially today as moving was not in their plan.  We wrap the hives in blankets and I carry them to a wheelbarrow. The hives are heavy and vibrating strongly with countless complaining noisy creatures. The buzzing is so loud that I am unable to hear Jayne who is trying to tell me something. I have something on my head apparently. The bees that were not captured in the sheet have all decided the best place to hang out is on my hat. There are hundreds of them up there. No wonder the noise is so loud.

Why’s it so loud in here?

My hands are vibrating strongly.  I have learned very quickly that bees do not like the colour black.  My black work gloves are covered in stinging bees.  A few of them are getting through and it hurts.  Thankfully these stings are nothing compared to the hornets and are soon forgotten. I haul the wheelbarrow with one of the sheet wrapped hives across a muddy cornfield three times.  With my lungs full of poo smoke and my hands full of stings I am positioned in the back of the truck clinging onto many thousands of angry bees as we head towards their new home. It’s getting dark.

Getting the smoker going
Old hive location
Preparations
Putting old frames in a new hive Jayne built
Corn!
Bee Sunset
Alex smoking the hive while its being moved
The Beehives new home at La Colina

The off load is many times more dangerous. It’s now entirely dark and the torches and lanterns we are using glare my eyes through the mosquito net and also attract bees who are in stinging mood.  There are yelps of pain from the torch carriers. “Don’t show the light to the beasts” shouts our bee man helpfully. I blindly and very slowly carry the hives one by one along our jungle path to an area of cleared jungle down a muddy slope. I must avoid tripping on tree stumps and sliding off the path at all costs. The prospect of falling in the dark with a hive of angry bees is not worth contemplating. Finally we have them set and carefully remove the sheets and retreat into the darkness. We return to the tree house to lick our wounds and contemplate our future of abundant honey.

Xmas is approaching.  No apologies for lack of Xmas cards and presents. Replacing all that with genuine feelings of connection to all our friends and family. We are truly blessed to know you all.

Feliz Navidad x

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