May 2018 - La Colina Project

La Cucaracha….

May 19, 2018
by Beave

It is becoming increasingly apparent that we need to know more about the birds and the folk who dedicate their lives and purses chasing around the world looking at them. It just happens to be World Migratory Bird day this past weekend and the San Pancho birder/twitcher community is having an event at a local bar, which we agree is worth the entrance fee to attend. The event is under attended which gives us the chance to properly meet the head of the local bird watching company and his family. He has been here forever and knows pretty much everything there is to know on the subject. He is probably the foremost expert on birds & their habitats in this region.

We learn a great deal. It turns out this whole area is unique and a very attractive prospect for the bird friendly. It’s a huge draw for many tourists. They are predominantly retired, in the higher budget bracket and from Canada and theUSA. The issues we need to look at will be to cater for older guests who may be used to room service and a touch more luxury than we currently offer. Transport over the rivers during rainy season will also be a challenge.

Another bonus for not having a large crowd at the event is that our odds of winning a prize in the raffle are greatly improved. We leave the event much wiser and with a free night in a Hotel in Sayulita and a free brunch for two (endless Mimosas included) at the Polo Club when it reopens for lunch in December.

One of our newly met friends is a girl from France who has been employed by the Polo Club this year to conduct environmental impact assessment and recommend actions. The Polo club has bought up over 250 hectares of land. That is a huge chunk of San Pancho. They have an immense and beautifully designed and executed club house, restaurants, beach club and stables. It’s vast and very very well funded. I have never seen a game of Polo up close and have never been dressed well enough to be let into the Polo Club so we arrange to visit early the next morning to take a bird watching tour there and check the place out. We are in a small group who are clearly used to these things by the size of their camera lenses and telescopic viewing contraptions. We are given the task of logging sightings for an International Survey taking place simultaneously on every continent. There are, unsurprisingly, many types and numerous quantities of tropical birds. We recognize all of them from our land. Our host has the skill to be able to identify the species and number of birds we are going to see from the song/calls. It’s an impressive skill.

We are on a path through the foresty jungle and come across a gathering area where art has been installed. There are faces crafted onto huge rocks and stand alone sculptures. Smaller rocks in the shape of body forms and obscure natural creations which give the whole place a magical vibe. I study the art while the others study the birds. This is inspiring. They are all formed by shaping clay-stone around a wire-wood cage-frame . It’s simple but very effective. I would love to have this sort of art throughout our land. Would be great thing to do. Need to learn more about the process. Our French friend tells me she will put us onto the local artists. We “borrow” a few cuttings of yellow bamboo from beside the Polo field and head back enthused by the art and the potential to introduce our bird population to more people. If we can attract a younger, slightly more adventurous and less needy type of bird loving guest then that would be perfect.

Our needy pool has been given a good amount of attention. The pool has been considered a luxury bonus item for months so has been slightly neglected despite being constantly attention seeking. Things are changing fast. The humidity is now 80% plus and rising by the afternoon. The pool will soon become essential for ginger life. The only place to cool off. We bite a further bullet and pay the money to have the guy who has fixed pools for 8 years to come and banish the stubborn green that all the chlorine we can find will not shift. In 24 hours the pool is transformed. It looks like a real actual proper posh whistle clean pool! Already it’s getting well used. Even our delicate Calgary princess has approved the balmy warm water temperature and is now a regular feature bobbing about on some inflatable ice cream device.

We are visited by friends from town for lunch who generously bring us a box of crispy slices of bacon. It is well understood that bacon improves most things. In this case it’s task is to improve a bottle of tequila and limes that they have also brought for us. We have pre-lunch first courses of shots of tequila, followed by lime and then bacon to finish. We discovered in a very short time that bacon gets you drunk ! Who knew ??

Mausetrappe has been, as usual, very generous. Mice are a very regular gift and sometimes even whole ones. More recently there have been regular piles of cockroaches (cucurachas) left as morning offerings. They are harder to deal with as cockroaches have a bizzare play dead feature. They look pretty dead, upside down and motionless on their backs in a pile of fluff and other bugs until you try and pick them up. They then spring to life and try to escape. It’s a game. There have also been a few too many cockroach sightings for us around the kitchen sink. We dismantle the still slightly sticky kitchen worktop, clean everything and cover it with vinyl. We deploy anti-bug spray in all the places. Next morning I get to play the alive or dead? game with 18 (we counted) full size upside down blighters spread around the place. The cat had clearly lost interest in gathering them in a pile for me. Problem solved.

So we have officially become local media sluts. Our friends who dined with us recently have put us as lead feature in the world famous San Pancho Life newsletter. We can hardly walk down the street anymore. Fame is such a sweet burden.

We are now even more officially Mexican. The local hospital is free for Mexican residents as long as we are registered for Seguro Popular which is their equivalent free at point of service health system. It includes all medication & treatment and is impressive considering the alternative on the other side of the wall. The registration lasts till 2021 and involves the correct amount of pedantic messing about, creative administration and flirting with large ladies. We managed it. This is a main benefit of our temporary residency.

Our residence cards runs out in September when we reapply for a further 3 years which is pretty much guaranteed to go through smoothly. We then get the right to be full Mexican citizens. This has a number of financial benefits but also means we cannot own a vehicle that is registered outside of Mexico. So this might be a touch premature but if anyone would like a well loved 1989 Chevy Van delivered around September 2022 we can offer you a very good price.

It has been noted that a project is not a project till someone gets a tattoo. That has certainly been true of some that we have done. We weren’t expecting it here. We have had a Welshman in a hammock for a few days here and there. He sometimes finds his way home and loves it out here. He is, amongst many, a fan of our logo. Our local pub (Ceveceria) is a great meeting spot and we introduce him to the owner and his lovely assistant. She is an artist that has begun a mural on our orange block and has started hand poked tattooing recently. Our Welshman is very easily persuaded to meet up with her after a surf and get a hand poked tattoo of our logo on his leg. We are now a proper project apparently.

Strange times. The local tax authority has conducted large scale raids on Sayulita and San Pancho. They have entered businesses and shut them down with immediate effect. Lots of them. We drive down town to check it out. The local Hostel had its guests chucked out and shut down. A clothes shop, a hardware store and many cafes and restaurants have large stickers on their very locked up and closed front doors. Some of these places are of significant size and reputation. The sticker tells us that there has been some financial or administrative obligation that has not been met and the business is closed. These businesses are owned by well known locals, many of them Mexican, who have been here for many years and all strongly and loudly claim to have paid all their taxes. It’s not clear what the story is yet. It could be the authorities are doing an end of season shake down on businesses that they think should be paying more taxes. It’s certainly got people’s attention. There is a strong rumour that all these businesses use the same accountant and he has failed to submit proper accounts on time for all of them. Wouldn’t want to be that guy right now.

The exodus continues. More of our friends are heading North and elsewhere to avoid the impending humidity. We are the poor neighbours they are leaving behind and the focus of much welcome generosity. As folk clear out their houses for the great escape we get all the stuff they no longer need! Chairs, art , house fixings, and food.

We have had a number of friends invite us to dinner. This is a rare treat and we have certainly taken very grateful advantage. I’ve had more meat and decent wine in the last few weeks than I can remember.

I‘m a great fan of spreading out meat into small amounts that fit well into a taco. It uses less of the stuff and makes for great eats. There is, however, for me, no substitute for a hunk of meat that you chew on. It’s not a common thing here and usually offered at places that we don’t currently have the budget for. This is something my face has missed but my body has not. Digesting large amounts of meat is not something I’m great at anymore. Not going to stop trying when I get the chance. The wine here is a mixed bag price & quality wise. In my previous life I became a fussy arse when wine was concerned. I spent time in France in the vineyards and brought back special batches of extraordinary unique nectar for my horribly unappreciative mates to chug down. I saved all the best wines and refused to drink most of the “everyday” bottles. I got on my own nerves. Now with choice and budget limited I have modified my judgments accordingly. We have a self imposed 150 peso a bottle limit . I did have someone buy us a decent Pinot Noir in a local restaurant recently and it was splendid beyond description… it did take me back. I have not lost all my pretentions just yet.

The pub closes soon. Our dear mates are having a well earned break to pulling pints before heading up to Portland. What are we to do??!! Before panic sets in we must help these guys out and make sure they aren’t left with any stock. I am in training to help them as much as I can. Only two weeks of pints in San Pancho left… ok slight panic. Might have to look at opening our exclusive bar before the footy starts. Jayne is so excited.

Jungle Journal

Ayahuasca Custard

May 9, 2018
by Beave

Vanilla Orchids….. not the easiest thing to propagate. Having climbed the Copomo tree next to our balcony brandishing a the pool cleaning rod to make sure the host vine is heading upwards a certain way then downwards a certain way we wait. Months later we spot the first buds and then flowers. Each flower lasts but one day. During that time it relies on a particularly rare type of Mexican bee to happen across it and pollinate. No pressure. This is far from a certain event. To increase the odds of vanilla pods exponentially we have adopted the role of surrogate bees and have been sexing orchids. Up a ladder with a toothpick may not be obviously sexy but is apparently effective. We pollinate our first two flowers. There are buds for many more so we will be up a ladder with toothpicks doing all the sex for some time. In 6 months we may have vanilla pods . It’s a long and delicate process. How do we ever get enough of the stuff for ice cream ….or custard ….??

Took the time to get beyond the break and float on my back in the Pacific watching birds and sky and sun. It is remarkable and beautiful and humbling. The sea here is so powerful and yet today tranquil and supportive. If I keep air in my lungs I rest on top of the building waves with no effort. I close my eyes and consider taking a floating nap. Sure it wouldn’t last long but it’s entirely possible. Need to do more of this. Floating meditation is the way forward.

The moon is full, the bar is open, the food is cooking splendidly and our guests arrive. All goes in a very relaxed and enjoyable way. Good food, too much wine and a moonlit jungle with the now compulsory black light scorpion hunt. We are now recovering with a heap of over catered left overs, more beer than we started with, an amount of actual cash and enough wine to keep us out of trouble for the next week. There is the satisfaction of a very pleasant evening and the knowing we can cater at a high level for up to dozen people without much drama. We are told that there will be a write up on the night’s activities in the next edition of the San Pancho Life newsletter. This is certainly another potential thing to do to earn a crust when the season starts again.

Jungle wake ups are slow. There is a routine of moving towards the kettle and creating tea while showering that is now achievable with limited brain cell activity and only one eye open. A bucket of tea brings the synapses to life and my mind fills with the strangest of priorities. Do we have water flowing? Is there air in the tires? Any petrol in the tanks? Water, air and fuel. I’m becoming worryingly practical.

The sun is moving overhead and mornings are later and evening stretching out further and further. The solar panels catch sun very differently these past few weeks. Days are getting hotter and the humidity turns the air three times thicker every afternoon. Warm thick air to breathe for the next three or four months. Got to get that needy pool in good order. It saved us many times last year.

My buddies are building a temple on a lake in Netherlands. They want us to join them. It’s the first iteration of the Temple for Peace that we spent so many months evolving last year. Would love to be there to share the load and the laughs. I have foregone the delights of Kiwiburn and Afrikaburn this year and don’t see us making Nowhere, Nest or Burning Man either. I’m not too sad about that as this new adventure requires a different mind set. Over more than a dozen years I have devoted energy, love, time and cash to create the space for some magnificent art. We have chosen crazy places in many countries to build cities, temples, huge scale propane delivery systems, exhibition spaces, large theme camps and much more. With few exceptions these creations were burnt to the ground or dismantled within a week. I have learnt to let go. I’m very good at it, I’ve had a lot of practice. Our project here is different. I’m letting go of letting go… slowly.

Dogs for security. Everyone tells us we need dogs for security. It certainly focuses the mind at night when a pack of dogs starts barking at you. None of them will bite you and most are scared off by a good stare but it’s definitely a deterrent. Tripod is next to bloody useless. He is properly attention seeking and has well practiced “poor hungry me” eyes. The tart will flirt with anyone if he thinks there is food in it for him. We are sure he limps on alternating legs for effect. He turns up now and again and makes a good show barking excitedly at some confused armadillo that might have wandered by.

We have a fair chunk of land to protect so at the moment we are considering at least two (and probably more) large ugly dogs that look mean and sound horrible. They need to be self-reliant outdoor dogs that eat once a week and are protective of us and scare the be ‘Jesus out of anyone else. Tall order even for here. There are very many stray dogs here. A shameful amount. We have had a couple of slobbery candidates directed our way. We are looking for dogs that will thrive out here and do not need too much counseling. None has passed muster yet. The search continues…

The season change is now pretty dramatic. It’s hot. Flowers are bursting out everywhere but at the same time the leaves are falling from the trees. It’s like both Autumn & Spring have come at once. With the canopy thinning so dramatically we can see around us new places and all the birds and a lot further through the jungle. There is now a carpet of leaves drying to a crisp on the hot slippy dust. The palm oil coconuts rest amongst them like ball bearings. It’s a miracle we can stand up at the moment let alone walk around.

We recognize the growing need for the pool to be ready to escape to. The sand filter pump has been working hard fairly often (subject to sun on panels.) It’s the only thing we have that makes even a dent in our “Nano-carbon” batteries which sit happily at 96 % or more all day no matter what else we throw at them. Good job as they cost their weight in truffle oil. We are well serviced for power thank the goodness’s. The pool however is stubbornly cloudy. It’s significantly less dusty and the filter is slowly working but the chlorine fish needs filling and probably some other costly process will be necessary. It’s currently a darkening shade of green. More attention required. It has been foretold by wise folk that lawns and pools need more upkeep than wives. I have a very needy pool that’s for sure.

We bite the bullet and head to PV to collect some cheap tyres for the Razor. They took a lot of finding but are less than half price of anything else we can find. They are 6 ply and many times better than the ones we have broken. The Razor has been on chocks for many days and this has made us a lot less lazy. We don’t drive across the land now but walk. It is a good thing to get more in touch with the land. We notice a lot more nature and wildlife. And jobs that need doing….

We have been invited to a XV Quinseañera party. Our man has insisted we join his family there. His son is the boyfriend of the birthday girl and he has a very important role to play. It’s a very well organized event with lots of traditional happenings involved. In Mexico the age of 15 is considered a very important time for young girls. Families save for years to show off and give her and everyone they know the party of her life. It’s a “coming of age thing”. It is not uncommon for pregnancy and marriage to follow soon after. We arrive at the town square on time. The stage is set for a band and the whole town square is packed with tables decorated in burgundy and gold.

We wait for the families to arrive from their long catholic church ceremony. No one shows so we hide in the pub for an hour. On returning we are spotted and join our man’s mum and a gaggle of kids and family. Still almost all the tables are empty. The panicked looking girl arrives dressed in burgundy and gold. She is shadowed by an equally stressed looking Mum. Slowly oh so slowly the entire town turns up. The band starts. I am surprised the racket that a dozen guys on stage can make. It’s a strange mix of wailing vocals , trumpet, tuba and at least two trombones (played as trumpets) with other bashing things behind them. This is either bloody awful or the best thing ever. I decide to decide later which one.

The girl is looking less stressed now and performs a well practiced dance with a dozen boys all dressed in identical burgundy shirts. Her brother leads her and our man’s son is right up there too. There is a table laden with gifts. There are presentations of dolls identical to the girl dressed exactly as she is. Bit spooky. Flowers are thrown and caught and every male member of the family gets a dance with her. The band are enthusiastically belting out what has become clear is bloody awful music. By 11 pm the place is packed and more tables are shipped in. The endless free beer takes effect and the dance floor starts to fill with some rather entertaining sights. There is a tendency for the lardy in Mexico. It is now published by the WHO that Mexico has officially the lardiest population in the world. This is demonstrated by the happenings on the dance floor. A properly entertaining mix. Some sprightly older folk at least 80 years old (probably older) swing dancing perfectly and looking good. A number of rather large boys practically suffocating slightly traumatized looking girls and sort of jumping together on the spot as the band blares out. Most transfixing is the huge ladies who have in their grip some tiny looking Mexican men who cling on for dear life as they lurch around not entirely in time with the music (if that is actually possible). The finale is the presentation of the girls first “official” high heel shoes. A traditional gift from the father. A sort of permission and expectation go now and be a woman. She looks a bit too young to me but what do I know.

The fatted cow is distributed. We knew the cow as it was one from a nearby ranch that our man slaughtered and spent all day cooking over a wood fire. Rather good stuff. It is served with what is now my new favorite Mexican delight – “frijoles puerco”. It is beans and cheese and chorizo all mashed together properly and deliciously. There is also a bottle of Agave type liquor which the family and many other random onlookers encourage me to drink a lot of. It is a poor man’s tequila but given a good go is still effective. It is effective enough for me to distribute cow juice and beans and chorizo and cheese onto my white shirt in a “look at me” obvious way. Embarrassing. It is confirmed by everyone on our table that we are the only “gringos” non-Mexicans in the entire square of many hundreds of people. It’s OK they tell us. “We are all Mexicans here .” Despite the spiny head and foody shirt that makes us feel rather good. By now we are ready to leave the noises from the band far away and make our way home. Its only 12.30 and we are the first to leave. The young kids and oldest folk are just getting started. The party goes on without us till sunrise.

We have met a number of people who have spent time out here over the years. The most recent is a girl who we heard about many times. She lives in town and had her first baby just about when we arrived so it has taken this long for her to surface. She arrives with us unexpectedly on her horse. We show her around as she shows us around. We go up to the Selva Vista apartment where she spent many years. She is relieved and emotional (in a good way) as she sees what we have created. Those tears are the best endorsement we have had so far by a long way. Before she leaves she shows us the many things she planted before she left 4 years ago. There is the lychee tree and the passion fruit and to our surprise a now mature Ayahuasca vine right beside our Morning Glory.

The important issue of the World Cup has arisen. Much as we would like to see England squeeze past the might of Tunisia and Panama I am more interested how Mexico will do against Germany, South Korea and Sweden. One of the restaurants in town is talking about remaining open just for the tournament and showing three matches a day. That is a huge relief. Wouldn’t want Jayne to go without her precious football.