September 2017 - La Colina Project

Onwards to Pilar … avoiding the coloured chicks

September 25, 2017
by Beave

I’m in a room in San Pancho we just rented for the week drinking tequila and drying out slowly. Tropical storm Pilar is upon us and this is how we got here …… I’ve added a few extra pictures to bulk it up a bit.

……………………………

Daily routine Chapala:

Wake up at some hour exhausted but conscious. Become aware of crazy itching in proximities and the self-satisfied mocking buzz of well fed mosquitos. Make better plan to avoid further blood loss. Sleep/wake cycle till the need for tea overrides fatigue.

Count the bites. Tea . Shower.

First thick coat of P20-50+. P20 is the best invention of all time. A single application sun screen designed by Scandinavians for the lighter chap. “Ginger juice” smells like a vodka cocktail for 20 mins until it sets in and works hard all day to reduce the onset of pink and the freckle spread . At some point I will become a single off-orange freckle. P20 makes the inevitable some weeks away.

So my natural day starts with a thick coating of Butyl Methoxydibenzoylmethane ( ginger juice) and my ankles soaked in Diethyl Toluamide with minimum 50% Deet to avoid becoming lunch as well as a midnight snack. The Deet stuff has actually melted our shoes.

There are many plans to dissuade mosquitos. The latest revealed to us is to soak cloves in vodka for a few weeks and then add a touch of baby oil. This gunk will apparently give you less delicious baby soft ankles…and won’t melt your shoes onto your feet. Going to give it a go. Will be tempted to taste it before we add baby oil.

Drove the rugrod into town at some ungodly hour this morning. Coincidentally Mexican Independence Day and the whole town has turned out for a parade for Jayne’s Birthday. We watch endless marching children dressed in their best and met the local dignitaries and the president of the area . Everyone is very impressed with Jayne’s age. We remove her before it all goes to her head and feed her breakfast and prepare for cake. Cake comes after hugely successful and well attended dinner to honor the creeping certainty of age.

Been acquiring tools. Brought enough to break a bag or two but need more. We head to a pop up market ( Tianguis ) with cash and a large bag. Not large enough. Only Mexican faces and only Mexican prices. Negotiate with an old guy (who claims to be Jesus )for an old drop saw and handfuls of over loved tools and shovels and a rake that he displays on the pavement. A deal is struck before the local Police move him on. We buy all the rest of the things but avoid the coloured chicks…..

Another Earthquake . The light fittings were swaying for half an hour in Chapla yesterday afternoon. Absolute tragic scenes from Mexico City. Wish we were closer and could have lent a hand last night. The army has deployed many thousand troops now . Outstanding response from everyone. It’s a thing of nightmares watching the parents waiting around the rubble heap that was their kids school . Counting our many blessings today.

Our friend who runs a community center in the North area takes us on a visit. There is a B side to everything. Drugs are traded on the North side and the advertising method is ingenious and well understood. The type of shoe hanging off the power-lines in front of your dwelling denotes the type of drug available. Sweaty old trainers for weed. High heels for coke. The full list may well be available on google. Everyone seems to know it .

The Tepehua centre https://www.facebook.com/tepehuacommunitycenter

is well funded by Rotary and other NGOs and provides day care, sewing craft training , clothing , water (without mercury), dentist and a health clinic for the area. They feed hundreds of people every Friday. IUDs are offered to women in confidence, as contraception is not considered a macho pastime by local men. The previous day care center transformed into an orphanage as parents took babies and small children and forgot to collect them.

There is another of many projects underway to offer woman a rehab facility. This is not a service available to women in Mexico. We are taken to a secure men’s rehab center where 128 males of all ages co-exist without drugs and alcohol. The atmosphere is surprisingly calm and friendly and respectful. We are show around by a young cleanly presented boy . He has been here 8 months but “needs to be in for 12”. There are voluntary inmates & many sentenced by courts. 18 men to a dorm. Communal kitchen. High walls and large well decorated locked gates. The girls are treated with interest but respect. The land next to it is designated as the first women’s facility to be opened when construction completed, maybe next year. Wish them luck with that.

We then visit one of the households that is being directly helped.It’s impossible to know how many people live in this pile of bricks topped with iron and laced with damp electric wires. The women won’t say as censuses may result in taxes. We see a number of young kids in a bed watching TV. We are shown where the water comes in.

Total respect for the time and intelligent effort going into real long-term community benefit here.

It’s been a sobering day.

Joy of joys…the land closure date is put back further.

Friday is now the day. Finally and absolutely.

Its completely understandable because ( good luck keeping up ..)

We will need our corporation to have a tax code in order to close this deal.
The tax code is available to us when we have closed the deal. …. !?
Our passports are not considered ID in the tax office. ….!?
Our address needs to be confirmed in order to close.
This can only be done by proof of purchase of the land……!?

In order to weave through this latest conundrum of knotted red tape we are required to be in PV on Thursday to sign over power of attorney to our accountant and have a false lease created so we actually lease the land 24 hours before we buy it so there is proof that we and it exists… and our accountant can be officially us .. even if we are there… unofficially. …… Simple.

Chipala is comfortable. May be too comfy. Good friends and food and weather and a pool and lots of very reasonable excuses to stay. Our van is undergoing major facelift and life saving surgery. It now has a lot less original parts , which we are told, is a very good thing. It has new brakes and a compete air con system designed for alloy monkeys freezepops ( or ginger men) . But it is always nearly ready… its been over a week now and we are starting to feel like cuckoos.

Friday is not the day. Further very dull and inexplicable reasons have put our closing back now to Tuesday but require our presence on Monday and so we decide to leave on Saturday.

Before we leave we make plans to transform the rugrod into a total babe. We will get all the bits working and add roll bars and seat belts and other luxuries like a speedometer, tyres & indicators. We will return to Chapala to pick her up…. Sometime after the rains. She will never be waterproof.

After a day in Guadalajara buying acres of mosquito netting and seventies kitchen wall fabric ( future curtains apparently) we manage to tear ourselves away ……. without the truck. It will be delivered to us sometime next week gleaming with perfection & refrigeration . … maybe.

5 hours of van time and we arrive back home in San Pancho at 7pm… just in time to meet Tropical Storm Pilar who arrives on our tails at 7.05. It rains. Oh how it rains. The sort of rain that gets all your bits wet at once pretty much immediately. We are reunited with 16 bags and a surf board and our ever patient hosts . We are soaked to our bits.

The road becomes a river and then all the roads become rivers. We are already wet so we dig out our small inefficient sun broleys and venture out. Wading through the town to a few bars to drink and eat and watch the sea eat the beach in large mouthfuls. It’s an incredible view. An Italian pIzza guy from Rome surpasses himself with distracting pear and blue cheese yumminess. We eat well & drink better and stare at the endless rain. We meet many wet locals doing the same and eventually wade home to return to a dry room . We catch the flashes & listen to the drumbeat of storm until we sleep.

La Colina Project

Jaynes Birthday present …..

September 15, 2017September 21, 2017
by Beave

Chapala is high up and boasts a huge lake. Makes for some spectacular sunsets and a temperate-ish climate. I can breathe ! I am not ( so much ) a puddle of ginger damp.

This micro-gringo friendly climate attracts a great number of retirees mainly from USA & Canada . There are a great number of folk of a certain age escaping weather and ever reducing attractions of home to be here.

There is also a great under current of good works happening here. The Shriners ( Masonic philanthropists ) are very well represented and are responsible for many acts of kindness both large and small. They are our friends here after Jayne & her brother were adopted during their motor bike trip. www.ultimateride.ca . Entire hospitals from here to Mexico City are built and funded. We are introduced to local children who have been sent to the best hospitals to regain their hearing. During dinner our waiter shows off his new teeth and administered free endless Margaritas. A hammock salesman we meet with a single tusk is next on the list. Local children met this morning in the square to be presented with two new buses to get them to school. The local water is polluted with industrial mercury causing significant renal failure. A new fully funded water treatment plant is opening soon. It’s never ending. Keeps everyone very busy and soul happy.

We are a lesser project but are being very well hosted. Three extraordinary couples have united to feed us , house us and connect us up. First great connection was to a local family who run an auto-shop. We plan to meet them soon.

We in fact meet another couple that met Jayne on her trip in 2013. There is much talk of motorbikes and permaculture and spoon carving lubricated with tequila and freezing cold beers. We leave while we are still able-ish and venture off to find a truck.

At the auto-shop our new Mexican friend and his wife from Chicago ( they have 7 kids) run the family business keeping local gringos on wheels. They have a odd dog that has been run over at least once and looks like its been washed and left out to dry a few too many times. We introduce ourselves at exactly the time said dog decides to chew through an extension cable and gets an impressive shock , leaps high , yelps loud and lands on Jayne. Oh how we laughed….

After some days & many miles , kicking tyres on some specially crap overpriced rust buckets and some jacked up off-road monster trucks we find her ! A Toyota T100 4×4 at a price we can deploy the Jayne to reduce to well within budget. Our new addition currently resides in the shop getting the full 5 star spa treatment ( and aircon) . Should be ready to drive “home” soon.

Another thing…. A stranger and more random thing has appeared. A friend of our friend drives it 2 hours to meet us.

Its what locals call a 4×4 Rug Rod . It’s a Cat front welded to a Blazer and wrapped in a Jeep body. It’s fully ridiculous. No hood. Open engine. It required new tyres, indicators, seat belts , roll cage and rear shocks. It’s beyond daft. So we buy it.

Happy Birthday Jayne… that’s that issue solved !

It’s going in the shop for a week or so before we come back to Chapala to collect it. We kinda forgot that we have three vehicles in Chapala now…. Oops ! We are rather content and considerably poorer.

Our newly arrived Rug Rod friend is dispatched to Guadalajara to work his magic in order for two gringos with no official status in Mexico yet become legal owners of two vehicles. We do not ask questions.

Our closing date for the land has moved back a few days due to legal apathy and a random National holiday ( for Jayne’s Birthday she is reminding everyone) …which works for us. Extra few days in pamper land before we hack our way back.

Tonight is a huge party night to celebrate Mexican Independence and the run up to Jayne’s birthday tomorrow. … this could get messy.

La Colina Project

You Drive Me Crazy

September 15, 2017September 15, 2017
by Jayne

We rented a pick up truck for our first few days in Mexico. Back in June we left our van with our dear friends in Lake Chapala, which is a 5 hour bus ride from Puerto Vallarta.

Lalo from Gecko Rent A Car was incredibly helpful and gave us a crash course in how to turn on Mexican roads. (Long overdue as we spent 4 weeks driving around Mexico in May and didn’t know any of this important info!)

For those of you who are planning to come help with the La Colina Project: your attention please!

Most main roads in Mexico have two lanes of traffic in each direction with a median in the middle. They also have another two lanes of traffic to each side, which give access to local businesses, gas stations, etc (see picture).

The key to driving in Mexico is to understand that at traffic lights, if you are in the middle lanes, you can only go straight ahead. If you want to turn left or right, you must first exit into the side lanes, and you can only do this when there is a gap that is not at a traffic light.

To turn left, or do a u-turn (retorno) you approach the traffic light in the left hand lane of the side road (or lateral as they seem to call it here) and wait for the green arrow. Only on the green arrow from that specific lane are you allowed to turn left. Have a look at the picture – it helps, but it’s still a pretty crazy system.

Even worse, when on an undivided highway, if you want to turn left, you are supposed to do the same thing, pull to your right, wait for the cars behind you to pass, and then turn left when it is safe to do so. This is partly because driving with your left turn signal on is often taken as an indication to the car behind you that it is safe to pass. Lalo informs us that this is a frequent cause of accidents.

There’s your Mexican driving lesson for the day. Stay tuned for Jayne and Beave’s 4×4 buying adventures.

PS – If you do come to visit, and you want to rent a vehicle, we highly recommend Gecko. Unlike the other car rental places, the price they quote you is the price you pay, including all insurances. They’re also really nice.

Jungle Journal

First few days…..

September 12, 2017September 12, 2017
by Beave

What follows is a rather lengthy diary of the bones of our first few days on the move. I’ll be happy to fill in the blanks next time we meet……..

DAY ONE

Leaving anywhere with 11 bags and a surfboard is always going to be fun. Leaving Manchester at 7 am to fly to Houston post hurricane and then onward to Mexico is special.

Great start to the airport balancing people and stuff in a beautiful RV packed to the gills. Three heaped trolleys to the Singapore counter and then the real fun begins. Despite hours of pre-event planning calls and assurances it is impossible to check our bags through to Mexico and at least as worrying there is doubts that my surfboard (my precious) will not fit in the hold. Sitting on a huge pile of bags at 8 am effectively homeless this is not the best news.

After enough time passes to make our run through security an event, we pay more than twice the price of my first car in excess baggage charges and away we go. My precious is on board …. It could be a lot worse. It becomes so when the Singapore Airlines supervisor follows us to the plane which is now waiting for us spouting platitudes and assuring us that this will all be a funny story (or blog as it happens) one day soon. We both avoid the temptation to punch her.

Plane to Houston.

Arrive in baggage claim Houston and create a luggage train of three packed trolleys held precariously together with a surf board on top. Steering was randomised and did not improve with swearing. As we headed to inflict ourselves on the United desk there was much staring and eventually some help offered and gladly accepted. Two sweaty lumps and 11 bags and my precious arrive in front of a slightly bewildered Carla.

Now as much as Carla was unbelievably inept at helping us and amazingly proficient at making our lives hell, she was lovely about it. We were required to wait 14 hours before we could check in. We were required to pay more than 5 times the price of my first car in further excess baggage. We were to buy a further 4 suitcases and repack everything to meet United weight restrictions. Sitting on a huge pile of bags at 3pm effectively homeless this is not the best news.

While escalating this as best we could to someone/anyone who had any authority to help us we witnessed other people’s less obvious troubles. The hurricane is hitting Florida and airports closing and very many tired and emotional folk were stuck in Houston indefinitely. Houston is recovering from hurricane Harvey and we discover the staff at the counter had been trapped in their houses for up to 10 days due to floods. There are so many drowned cars that there is not a single rental car available. There are so many flooded homes and buildings that there is not a single hotel room to be found anywhere. We count our blessings and feel humbled on our pile of dry luggage.

Carla changes our lives. She has found a human who at the very thought of dealing with us crumbles and waives all fees and throws away the rules and she checks all our bags and us on the plane for 9.40 next morning. Massive relief and gratitude. We leave the airport with only 4 bags (twice hand luggage allowance) and find Jaynes uncle Richard who has been waiting for hours for us outside the airport. He has listened to an entire Bob Dylan collection and two Beatles albums so is chilled out.

DAY TWO-ish

Houston is recovering. We take well over 2 hours to drive the 45 minutes to his house. Seeing houses and cars flooded out gives us added patience. We are well fed (thanks to the skills of aunt Jess) and slightly slept at 6.30 am when we then take nearly 3 hours to drive the 45 mins to the airport. Rush hour Houston with only one good freeway is less conducive to patience. We somehow get through security and on the plane with all our bags and bottle of scotch in less than 30 mins. Somehow. We watch from the windows as we see my precious being loaded. All is well.

Plane to Puerto Vallarta.

Another well practiced luggage train is taken apart by customs. We patiently show our lives in 11 instalments and a surf board. Our friends at US homeland security have kindly unpacked and repacked our bags in advance of our arrival. The unpacking seemed to have gone well but the repacking … not so much. Our vacuum packed tetrus-ed suitcases when opened prove impossible to shut. Their solution was to move spare life essentials into another of our bags. This bag is rammed with tools and hammocks and protests by exploding in transit. Making America great again will take time I fear. Bless them.

Massive cab to a much-recommended rental place. The only one in Puerto Vallarta that does not rape you for bogus insurance. No matter how cheap your website booking thinks it should be or how good your own insurance thinks it is , the companies charge you a huge lump on top for “local insurance charges “or they refuse to rent you the car. Not Mexicos proudest moment when you just arrive in the country, be warned.

Loaded pick up to see our notaria (lawyer).

Arrive in car park under shopping mall to realise my wallet was missing. Jayne sympathy increased notably when she found her passport missing. Not a good start.

We walk to the notaria office in jetlagged befuddlement. That feeling of losing important things sitting hard in our bellies. A thick set bald guy walks directly towards me. Oh, shit what does he want. I judge this dude as a time share salesman. “I have something you need” he says. I don’t need a bloody timeshare …… He then passes us an envelope with a passport and wallet in. We are jetlagged and befuddled and stunned. Much thanks and shame. We stupidly left both on the rental desk. Geko rentals have sent their man to find us. We decide to love them.

Lawyer meeting. Ready to close on the land 18^th September, We homeless till then. We have a plan. Fish tacos and get to see Big Chief and Abi at their rental apartment before our growing stupidity has further consequences.

Outstanding soft landing of whisky and loveliness and 11 bags and surfboard.

It rains hard.

Sayulita is an over popular place. Beautiful but packed all year. No parking even in low season so the smart thing to do is rent a golf cart. Chief is smart so we leave the hill and head to town. Rain has turned all the roads into fast flowing shallow rivers. Some fun is had creating waves on the way to purchase Mezcal and other essentials. We head to a favourite pizza place. We have a Mexican Venice moment eating Italian food overlooking a particularly gnarly road river outside.

It continued to rain hard.

We sleep hard till we don’t. Jet lag is a thing.

DAY THREE

Breakfast and faffing completed we stop at hardware place to load up on machetes and take our first trip out to the land. First time since June when it was dry. Hurricane and tropical storms have made the wettest summer for many years. The pick up is not 4×4 and doesn’t have the best clearance we soon find out. After fording, a few new rivers imperfectly (Chief is quite rightly unimpressed at my 4×4 driving “skills”) we bottle it. Not a chance are we driving to our land. We gather stuff to wade across. Local farmers come to check us out on their horses. They are just making sure these daft looking Gringos are not going to kill themselves. They offer to help us out when we get sorted out with a decent truck. 4×4 now top of our shopping list.

We get across on foot easily if soggy. The water is cool on the body. I’m already a large ginger sweaty thing. Better get used to that. Approaching our land is different this time. The road is a flowing mountain stream and the land is covered in green. The first entrance has 50 feet of yellow flowers about knee height. Machete job no.1.

We survey the land. Measure the well (22m deep with 20m of water today). The girls find bananas, passion fruit and lemons. The boys find huge whip spiders and water pools full of tadpoles. This place is going to be loud with frog song soon.

We discuss endless possibilities while drinking beer tequila and Mezcal while floating in the stream cooling off and nursing the red burns that appear on bare skin from the juices of machetied plants. Nature always fights back. I’m covered in them. Sensitive flower that I am.

Back in San Pancho for lunch and float in the sea. Unbelievably perfect after sweating gallons. I float and consider this will be a daily routine soon enough.

Things take a turn for the ugly when Chief is required to remove a tick from his gentleman area. Not pleasant. Lesson to note about checking one’s bits for ticks.

We (Abi & I) drink hard and sleep hard in sympathy.

DAY FOUR

Awake to 11 bags and a surfboard and news of large earthquake south of us. Thankfully for us over 1000 miles south but have a number of people to reassure.

Load up and leave Sayulita to check in to cheap room in San Pancho. Two Gringos, 11 bags and my precious in one room……

Lunch and airport to release Chief and Abi until next time.

Find Ivan. He has a taco stall in town and specialises in Pastor which is essentially pork and pineapple but somehow tastes uniquely like neither. So, good and cheap. Decided to love the place.

Sleep to the sounds of CNN warning of disaster in Florida.

Wake late.

Head out to see our real estate friend in his new office up the road in Lo De Marcos. He promises us a generator and tools and hooks us up with fix it and solar contacts. We head to beach for lunch. Quiet beautiful beach. Then not so quiet … much commotion as large (much bigger than me) crocodile swims past a few meters from shore. This has a discouraging effect on paddle boarders and swimmers. Our new friend swims up and down the shore till we leave. San Pancho has a lagoon in which a good size bask (newly found collective noun) of the buggers live. A local thief lost an arm trying to swim from Police recently. The rain swells have washed a few of them out to sea. The American Crocodile is not likely to attack when in sea water we are told. This is not reassuring enough to want to find out.

We return to our room and decide to disgorge the bags and find out what we have brought and get organised. Seemed like a good idea at the time. It is amazing to find the things that you “can’t do without”. In our case its mainly art, hammocks, buckets of ginger strength sun screen and tools. After some hours, we repack and agree to store our bags with these poor unsuspecting hostel owners while we go to Guadalajara and Chapala to collect our van and try and find a 4×4.

How we managed it I’m not entirely sure but we now have 16 full bags, 2 over stuffed plastic bags and a surf board!

We leave the room to watch the sunset and meet our immigration lawyer. He knows our land well and is very well connected in many ways. He will introduce us to a girl who lived on the land for many years who will know so much! I’m excited about that. She is currently very pregnant and due her first child any moment so she will have other priorities. Shame …but another lesson in patience for me. Like this guy & feel we are going to have some fun together. Been here a day and already feeling connected. Few too many beers and another visit to Ivan’s and we head back. Got to return truck and get bus for 5 hours tomorrow.

Wake to hear of Florida’s dealings with Irma. We managed to squeeze all our ever-expanding stuff into a laundry room and head out. Drop truck and check into bus. Love these buses. started this diary/blog and watched a movie on Bertha (my tablet) and arrived relaxed…. to wrong bus station …. late. Our friends who were to collect us 45 minutes ago are not here. We decide to taxi to other bus station to find them not there either. They do not have a mobile phone. Dilemma. Before any overriding stress sets in they arrive over an hour late due to traffic at the wrong bus station to find us immediately. All worked out.

We land at our friend’s casita late and collapse.

DAY FIVE

So, we in Lake Chapala and reunited with our van. Amazingly it’s been cleaned and serviced in our absence. It is also packed with old and new stuff and another surf board and inflatable paddle board. We are stuff rich homeless people. We do now have a fab casita to live in this week at our friend’s place. We have good Wifi and time this week to land and sort out a bit.

We don’t need to be back till 18^th and Saturday 16^th is Mexican Independence Day and more importantly … Jaynes birthday. Our shopping list for even more stuff is getting long. Solar, well pump, generator, tools, small ATV, 4×4 truck, bed, fridge, new locks …….

We are both dealing with jet lag but overall relaxed and happy.

Could have done without the scorpion in the tea pan this morning but there you go.

lt’s not a bad start.

La Colina Project

Shift in time & space

September 4, 2017September 4, 2017
by Beave

So you may have noticed a strange shift in the very fabric of things.

I’ve put it down to the effect of the impending move of the centre of the universe from it’s previous home in Darlington to a small treehouse in a Mexican jungle.

Strange days preparing to take the plunge. Leaving family , friends, house, Elvis, the wives and all things familiar to surf into the unknowable.

Overwhelming gratitude.

Here we go……….

Jungle Journal

The Final Countdown

September 4, 2017January 16, 2018
by Jayne

Tomorrow we will be on our way back to Mexico to start our jungle adventure.

The past couple of months have been a whirlwind of leaving preparations. Our house is empty and ready to rent out and our lives have been reduced to 11 suitcases and a surfboard.

Leaving the house completely empty was more emotional than I expected.

It’s good to feel things deeply, the excitement, the sadness, and the slightly nervous anticipation of the unknown.